Monday, 31 October 2011

innards
















I am caught between the gutter and sidewalk
my heart thumps 
when I see the flickering sunset
my foot hits a bottle
I look down at my bloody toe
which has now carved into a stone
my legs have vanished
my shadow is crooked
and my innards gurgle out
I try to figure out why your body twitched 
when I am the one who is hurt

"I wake to find myself typing away furiously,
my words falling all over-
operation writing accomplished"
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31 comments:

  1. Nanka31 October 2011 at 08:25

    The words tumbled out well and you completed the operation too!! ;)

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  2. Morning31 October 2011 at 12:43

    smart write.

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  3. oldegg31 October 2011 at 14:46

    You are developing such awesome imagery in your writing. In reading this particular piece I can remember so many years ago just that feeling of hurt. Love the culprit again of course!

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  4. ayala31 October 2011 at 15:10

    well penned.

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  5. Joann31 October 2011 at 19:34

    I like it. I feel it.

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  6. Tumblewords:31 October 2011 at 20:25

    Profound and provocative!

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  7. Christine1 November 2011 at 09:54

    as tumblewords said it, very profound indeed

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  8. The Old Raven1 November 2011 at 10:01

    This is an explosion of creativity!!!

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  9. Laurie Kolp1 November 2011 at 10:09

    Visual and profound.

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  10. Daydreamertoo1 November 2011 at 10:13

    Very gruesome, vivid and .... yucky! LOL

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  11. Lucy Westenra1 November 2011 at 11:25

    Your creative juices really flowed! Great Magpie.

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  12. jabblog1 November 2011 at 11:43

    Remarkable!

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  13. H.R.1 November 2011 at 12:29

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. Lyn1 November 2011 at 12:44

    What a sharp, well written piece..deeply felt..

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  15. The Write Girl1 November 2011 at 18:45

    Wonderful writing...I really enjoyed the story you weave in this poem.

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  16. Jinksy2 November 2011 at 00:11

    Tumbling words are better than ones which remain stuck. ♥

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  17. juca22 November 2011 at 04:22

    Well-written...liked it. // Peter.

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  18. Brian Miller2 November 2011 at 05:47

    really like that question of why they were the one that twitched...and as always your last line pulls us in whole other directions...

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  19. chiccoreal2 November 2011 at 09:16

    Dear Gautaumi: Sounds like a case of writer-warrior syndrome! Need another case of beer here! Excellent tale told (unfortunately totalled the dear writer!). Blood letting sounds much easier than "twitching". (nerves still alive and full function!)

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  20. flaubert2 November 2011 at 09:37

    I like the image this evokes, Gautami.

    Pamela

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  21. Mary2 November 2011 at 14:50

    Clever! The writing is accomplished, but at what price. Your conclusions always enhance the poem. I admire that.

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  22. L.A Speedwing3 November 2011 at 02:59

    profound and evocative indeed.

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  23. The Orange Tree3 November 2011 at 08:42

    smart piece.

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  24. miss pie3 November 2011 at 19:50

    seamless connection... dynamite writing!!!

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  25. Shail Raghuvanshi3 November 2011 at 23:15

    Short and sweet and oh so nice....

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  26. mjshorts4 November 2011 at 06:53

    A gruesome tale well penned.

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  27. sharplittlepencil4 November 2011 at 22:57

    Nice take on the wordle and on the "operation" prompt (hope you were doing them both!). This is visceral and heartfelt at once. I really got into the "love connection." Good writing, my dear! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/skin-like-a-cloak/

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  28. Shauna5 November 2011 at 22:10

    reminds me of a samuel beckett poem,
    desolation with strong clarity.

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  29. Anonymous6 November 2011 at 06:54

    Your words found their way to the surface and they were very good. What descriptive lines.

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  30. Poetry of the Day6 November 2011 at 20:35

    so awesome

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  31. Rosemary Nissen-Wade10 November 2011 at 10:44

    I like the surprise ending.

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