Monday, 27 April 2009

I want to get over the border tonight

"I want to get over the border tonight"

for once his words made no sense
mine turned to stupfied silence
what exactly was he conveying to me
was he wishing to be set free of me?

then I thought why read too much in it
I might as well say my two penny bit
"ok go, get over that border tonight
but first come have a sumptuous bite"

"don't worry, I will not let anything distill"
hearing that I felt an unknown thrill
all of a sudden I fully comprehended
leaning closer to him, I took his hand.

"I too want to get over the border tonight"
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15 comments:

  1. anthonynorth27 April 2009 at 06:31

    There's something deeply mysterious about this one. Marvellous.

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  2. sage27 April 2009 at 07:43

    Yes, it is mysterious. Well done!

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  3. Sweet Talking Guy..27 April 2009 at 07:52

    Hi Gautami, I wonder what border you want to get over?

    Line 12
    leaning closer to my intended. (perhaps?)

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  4. jimmmaaa27 April 2009 at 11:51

    I like this poem and I like the rhyme scheme.

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  5. Liz at Yips and Howls27 April 2009 at 12:53

    I like how you play with the meaning of border in this. The rhyming scheme enhances the meaning very effectively.

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  6. Janice Thomson27 April 2009 at 15:01

    Ooh... I very much like this Guatami and the subtle play on the words 'over the border'. Lovely!

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  7. Linda Jacobs27 April 2009 at 16:04

    Ooh, that "sumptuous bite"! A little double meaning here? Love it!

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  8. Unknownwriter and Almost Lover27 April 2009 at 16:04

    Mysterious for sure leaving all kinds of questions the reader can ask themselves

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  9. ds27 April 2009 at 20:27

    Hi, Gautami! I'm familiar with some of your blogging/reviewing and many of your comments from other "booky" sites, but this is the first time I've really read your poetry. Very interesting stuff. Thank you!

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  10. Whitesnake27 April 2009 at 21:27

    But?
    Do you really?

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  11. artpredator27 April 2009 at 22:00

    very playful and mysterious!

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  12. Catherine28 April 2009 at 01:40

    I think I know what this means - but I could be wrong :)
    You do a great job with rhyme and meter

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  13. bitchyangel28 April 2009 at 05:45

    i like this.
    playful. nice.

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  14. Susan Helene Gottfried28 April 2009 at 07:49

    I think I'm taking this either WAY too literally or else way too ... uhh, romantically. Either way, I doubt it's what you intended!

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  15. Raven's Wing Poetry29 April 2009 at 11:43

    Hrm. I want to pry this open a little but I'm afraid I'll destroy it. Intriguing.

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