Wednesday, 13 April 2011

draining

such a waste-
concrete emotions
ended, as
evident
from the past, as a result of
tragic illusion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shadorma:
line one has three syllable
line two has five syllables
line three has three syllables
line four has three syllables
line five has seven syllables
line six has five syllables
Posted by at
Labels: , , ,

19 comments:

  1. Fear Not the Darkness but What lies Within13 April 2011 at 09:46

    Sheilagh lee said wonderfully inventive love the line tragic illuion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stan Ski13 April 2011 at 09:57

    I guess the result of tragic illusion is nothing to the wrath of a woman scorned...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ramesh Sood13 April 2011 at 09:59

    One realises that illusion is tragic only after reality expresses itself..and often years pass through..

    Thanks Gautami for visiting my page.. it is emboldening,,

    ReplyDelete
  4. LKHarris-Kolp13 April 2011 at 10:01

    Love your shardoma!

    ~laurie

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ren13 April 2011 at 10:23

    I love how you can put so much into so few words. It's wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  6. anthonynorth13 April 2011 at 10:24

    Ah, illusion is often tragic, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Elaine13 April 2011 at 10:34

    This is a wonderful Shadorma poem. I've seen a few this week and tried my own today too.
    Very very well written.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Linda Jacobs13 April 2011 at 11:17

    Sad, so sad! I've never seen this form before but I like it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. horse and moon13 April 2011 at 13:51

    i can relate !!!
    I love this poem

    ReplyDelete
  10. Andy Sewina13 April 2011 at 15:36

    You got the three little words in nicely!

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  11. WarmSunshine13 April 2011 at 16:51

    Lovely lines dear... sad but so intense! Thanks for visiting my space.

    Hey, do come by blog today (Thursday)… I’m having a meet up party that’s intended to boost us bloggers’ networking. I hope to see you there…

    It’s @ http://the-perfect-line.blogspot.com/2011/04/gear-up-people-its-friends-meetup-party.html

    Consider this a formal invitation :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. oldegg13 April 2011 at 17:48

    Sad unrequited love is always a poignant read. This is a really beautiful piece.

    ReplyDelete
  13. whenwordsescape13 April 2011 at 19:58

    Well done...I will agree with others by saying I, too, liked how you used the three words...and in such a compact piece. Yay for you!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lisa13 April 2011 at 20:56

    Very well written pieces.

    thanks for stopping by my blog as well.

    Lisa
    InspiredbyLisa

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jannie Funster14 April 2011 at 01:55

    Ah, I get now what a a shadorma poem is, the amounts of syllables. It has a really natural flow.

    I once had concrete emotions, a passing thing in my early 20s, everthing felt "flattened" for a while, if you get what I mean. But by mid-20s all was smooth sailing, and has remained so -- must've been finding true love at last.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  16. Old Altonian14 April 2011 at 04:32

    Nice poem. Bear up and try again, it might come better next time.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just someone14 April 2011 at 09:58

    Interesting form - shadorma;

    'Tragic illusion' - liked that one - hv to agree with the others earlier

    ReplyDelete
  18. jaerose15 April 2011 at 07:50

    There are so many ways for a soul to be drained..Jae

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jingle16 April 2011 at 19:04

    this is creative.

    love the last part.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)