that snake sneaking under a carpet I can see its outline I am numbed at one place only my eyes move those baubles distract me I trap that snake with the reflected light from my eyes
Gautami, I am left to ponder how bloody diamonds personify innocense. Perhaps, and what makes so much poetry intriguing, you are writing to a personal incident or idea that must remain a mystery -tantalizing. I suppose mesmerizing snake eyes are innocent outside of metaphor --- thank you for the gem of a puzzle.
kaleidoscopes can be made up of anything colorful in the object chamber, even sequins or snake scales; and your piece, this poetic baffling that you thrust out there among us, makes a word journey that only you see the direction of, and yet we see, we read those marvelous words, and the imagery clings to our viscera. There is something significant happening here, loss of innocence, guilt, remorse, lust, greed, murder-- keep us guessing for it is good to travel in undiscovered terrain.
Startling image, for some reason it made me see Gloria Swanson in her famous scene at the end of Sunset Boulevard where she walks down the stairs and says 'All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up'
Great vision... And metaphor... snakes , as life, can bring trouble- or not... depending on the kind... i guess Great OSW Thank for your visit Gautami :-)
There does seem to be a coiled snake in there! And the flashing light reflecting from the baubles to your eyes to the snake would stop it dead in its tracks! A very imaginative poem!
that snake
Interesting, solid take on the picture.
ReplyDeleteI see no snakes! How frightening.
ReplyDeleteWell written, and I liked the suspense you created. very nice...
ReplyDeletesnake eyes are entrancing. Nice write.
ReplyDeleteI love how you trapped the snake with the reflected light from your eyes. Great Write.
ReplyDeleteNicely written!
ReplyDeletethat last line steals it...
ReplyDeleteThis sticks in my mind, and I had to read it over and over thinking there was something I was missing.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's complete and perfect as it lays.
Lady Nyo
great take on the prompt...glad you have trapped this snake..what eyes you must have...well done..bkm
ReplyDeleteAn amazing poem. I think this one is my favorite of yours. Such a creative take on the prompt too.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting...wonderful images.
ReplyDelete"the reflected light from my eyes"
ReplyDeletestunning!
diamonds.....innocent ???
ReplyDeletegrins
Gautami,
ReplyDeleteI am left to ponder how bloody diamonds personify innocense. Perhaps, and what makes so much poetry intriguing, you are writing to a personal incident or idea that must remain a mystery -tantalizing. I suppose mesmerizing snake eyes are innocent outside of metaphor --- thank you for the gem of a puzzle.
I like this. Particularly the last two lines. Good take on the prompt
ReplyDeleteThis one's so cryptic!
ReplyDeleteNice piece, Gautami!
well done! Interesting twist.
ReplyDeleteLots of symbolism in this one...snakes as an image of transmutation!
ReplyDeleteCool take on the picture.
ReplyDeleteGreat intensity and economy of language here.
ReplyDeleteoh, a snake charmer, are you? thanks for sharing your one shot with me :)
ReplyDelete"bloody diamonds can personify innocence too"...love this last line!
ReplyDeleteTrapping the snake with your eyes...you charmer you. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete(Thanks for visiting my blog)
Good work, Grasshopper!
ReplyDeleteWell done! Both poetically and in the realm of capturing snakes!
ReplyDeletewonderful and entrancing hope that snake is gone tho =)
ReplyDeleteThis is deep! I thought of "blood diamonds," and how they represent the danger that can lurk in the things that entice us most.
ReplyDeleteIf I saw a snake sneaking under a carpet, I would be out of there in a hurry. I am not a snake lover. Interesting poem.
ReplyDeleteLove it - you packed so much menace into so few words - all that glitters is not gold :)
ReplyDeleteGreat piece - I enjoyed this quite a bit!
ReplyDeletekaleidoscopes can be made up
ReplyDeleteof anything colorful in the object
chamber, even sequins or
snake scales; and your piece,
this poetic baffling that you
thrust out there among us,
makes a word journey that
only you see the direction of,
and yet we see, we read those
marvelous words, and the imagery
clings to our viscera. There is
something significant happening
here, loss of innocence, guilt,
remorse, lust, greed, murder--
keep us guessing for it is good
to travel in undiscovered terrain.
Startling image, for some reason it made me see Gloria Swanson in her famous scene at the end of Sunset Boulevard where she walks down the stairs and says 'All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up'
ReplyDeleteawesome thoughts .. the last line was a clincher !!
ReplyDeleteGreat vision...
ReplyDeleteAnd metaphor...
snakes , as life, can bring trouble- or not... depending on the kind... i guess
Great OSW
Thank for your visit Gautami :-)
I found this to be a great social commentary. Very well written!
ReplyDeleteRick
Mysterious piece. A fine read!
ReplyDeleteThis is captivating!
ReplyDeleteGautami,
ReplyDeleteYour eyes work lightning in them and ward-off danger.
Trulyfool
ah, to be distracted by baubles
ReplyDeleteThere does seem to be a coiled snake in there! And the flashing light reflecting from the baubles to your eyes to the snake would stop it dead in its tracks! A very imaginative poem!
ReplyDelete