Wednesday 19 December 2007

amnesia--3WW/Cafe Writing



clumsy
fire
overlooked


child sat near effulgent fire
softly singing-
yet she had no reason to be joyful.
her whole world had shattered,
loss of memory was a blessing.
her mind overlooked immediate deficit
even though forgotten tears
glistened clumsily on her cheeks-
no spark kindled in her consciousness.

mother lay dead- father held for her murder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taking Option One from December Project of Cafe Writing, I use the following words too:

kindle, memory, spark, shattered, effulgent, joyful, softly, glistening




24 comments:

  1. Very well written account of trauma. I hope no child will ever again face this.

    Rose

    xo

    My 3WW is up as well. "Signs of the times"

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  2. My dear friend, how I wish you were not so far. I know we would enjoy conversing about a great many things.

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  3. Richard

    Well, that was a shock! Seemed very Indian, though I know it could happen anywhere. I could just see a little person sitting at a dung fire outside a blue tarp tent on the side of a roadway.

    Congratulations on using "effulgent." What a horribly un-euphonic word.

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  4. very nicely combined indeed... lovely poem....

    "fierenza"

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  5. shocking story but well done!

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  6. Err, I publish, thinking everyone can read my mind some weeks. This was well written, just a horrible experience for her.

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  7. efficient use of so many difficult words.

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  8. Oh, my! What a sad picture. I wish your images weren't so good! Well-crafted!

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  9. You and i know this kind ofthing happens, which makes this piece even more profound!

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  10. Well-done piece of horror...shocking last line.

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  11. I really hope this wasn't inspired by real life. And if it was, I hope it happened to total strangers -- or, on the flip side, to someone whose life you can touch and improve.

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  12. That last line sure was a shocker, but also made me sad, reality is sad how much ever we hide from it...thanks again.

    UL

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  13. Oh, what a story. The last line was a shock.

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  14. Such things do happen. Scary, I know.
    Especially in Naxal areas.

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  15. That was a shocker of poem, very well-written.
    --Gay

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  16. Great piece, though hard =(
    You like a challenge don't you? That's alot of words to fit and you did a fantastic job!
    Best wishes for 2008

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  17. amnesia would be a blessing in such a situation. How horrible that any child should have to live through such an ordeal. Very well done!

    Christy

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  18. So well done, Gautami, cut right to my heart. I wanted to pick her up and just hold her and sing quietly beneath her voice. Powerful.

    Marcia (MeeAugraphie)

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  19. Great poem, title is okay too.
    There's great adjectives throughout and wow...what a powerful finish!

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  20. This is finely crafted and very sad, Gautami. I feel for the girl.

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  21. WOW g that was beautifully written...mankind we can be so cruel...but life is full of grace...

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  22. You wrote in a melachonly tone for a heartbroken girl. no child should have to see that!

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  23. I cant even pick a favorite line. Its perfect.

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