Wednesday, 26 July 2006

hypothesis

you say i have both your attention, your heart
but not appreciative enough about that.

when have i said otherwise, how can you surmise
all that I did say? gut wrenching feelings i disguise

from you, never letting you know, hurting inside.
with a smile on my lips, no pain showing outside

i return to you again and again, without rhyme
or reason. loving you mindlessly is no crime

why do i then feel so sad? why does the pain
is such that i feel numb? my thoughts drained,

my mind empty, my heart so full, spark of hope
still alive. What will i do, how will i cope?

when you go away again, never to look
back. i must seek some answers in life’s book.



i wrote it sometime back when i was in very black mood but haven't got around polishing/editing it. posting it here in the original form i wrote. please feel free to critique....

Sunday, 23 July 2006

mind games

sinking deeper
she pulls me down
with burden of thoughts
i simply drown




'she' is the mind here...

Saturday, 22 July 2006

Did I dream it?

I had this dream. It was so vivid that for a while I thought it was real when I woke up. I looked out for him. How could he be there when he was so far away? But my mind refused to believe that he hadn't been there. He had held me. I had felt his touch.

Maybe I had been thinking of him. But I knew after all that work and not to forget my medications, I had no thoughts in my mind when I literally fell into my bed. So why did I have that dream or was it that?

When I talked to him later, I did not mention it. He said he had been thinking of me. I asked him when, the time he mentioned coincided with my dream. Being in different time zones, our sleeping and waking hours are different.

The point is how could that be possible? He had been thinking of me, I dreamt about him. He felt so near that I couldn't believe he was not there...

Does it happen?
I do have visions but this...?

phallic symbols--haiku


reaching out to where
soaring into space out there
these phallic symbols?















I think I should mention it here that in India the Lingam is worhipped. It is the phallic symbol. For a country which gave the world, KAMASUTRA, we are a bunch of hypocritical prudes now. Ironic, isn't it?

Friday, 21 July 2006

Thursday, 20 July 2006

gather.com

I have been posting stuff on gather.com All that comes into my mind. Made great friends there. Chk my posts at grounded.

Own a few groups too there. Great interactive place....

Monday, 17 July 2006

Dislocated elbow!

BTW, I have dislocated my right elbow.Plaster cast from shoulder to wrist for three weeks. Hence blogging will be difficult as typing with one hand is very slow!

I will be back.........sometime in first week of August.

blogspot blocked!

some useful notes copied from a blog

Which Indian ISPs are blocking Blogspot blogs ?

Looking at the server referral logs, I can see recent traffic from BSNL,MTNL, Satyam Sify, Airtel Broadband, TouchTel India, VSNL Sancharnet, AsiaNet and Bharti Cellular. However, there are no current referrals from Reliance Infocom, Star Hathway and Tata Internet Services which may signal that they are indeed blocking access to blogspot sites.

Update: Almost all Indian ISPs have blocked access to sites hosted on blogspot.com and geocities.com

Who is to blame ? Indian Government or Local ISP ?

While a Bangalore ISP Spectranet agent claims that they received a letter from Ministry of Communications to block blogspot sites in India, I am not very convinced since in that case, state owned ISPs VSNL and BSNL would have been at the forefront in implementing the notice. But as they are neither blocking Blogger.com or Blogspot.com, I feel the access has been restricted only by a couple of Private ISPs.

The government may have issued a notification to block some blogs on *.blogspot.com and the intelligent ISPs went a step further and blocked the entire blogspot.com domain. Update: Confirmed that the Government of India [Ministry of Telecommunications] did issue a directive to block a few blogspot.com blogs in India.

Whoever may be responsible, India has clearly joined the Internet Filtering Club of China, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Euthopia. If the access to restricted websites is not restored in a day or two, this issue is sure to gather active momentum in the Western blogosphere.

How do I know if my ISP blocked access to Blogs ?

» Using DOS Ping Tool. Type the following commands in the MS DOS window (Start->Run->Cmd->Enter):

ping blogspot.comping blogger.com

If your ISP has not restricted access to blogspot site, you should see something like this:

Pinging blogspot.blogger.com [66.102.15.101] with 32 bytes of data:Reply from 66.102.15.101: bytes=32 time=333ms TTL=240Reply from 66.102.15.101: bytes=32 time=329ms TTL=239Reply from 66.102.15.101: bytes=32 time=337ms TTL=239Reply from 66.102.15.101: bytes=32 time=294ms TTL=239Ping statistics for 66.102.15.101: Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 4, Lost = 0 (0% loss),Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds: Minimum = 294ms, Maximum = 337ms, Average = 323ms

I am Blog Reader. How can I read a blocked blogspot.com site ?

Luckily, there are a ton of alternatives to access restricted websites. Here are some of the most popular workarounds:

» Via RSS Readers Fire up Newsgator, Bloglines, Google Reader or any other web based newsreader and subscribe to the blogspot blog rss by typing xxx.blogspot.com/rss.xml or xxx.blogspot.com/atom.xml in the URL field.

» Via RSS2Email Services Head over to Feedblitz, Bloglet or FeedBurner, type the blog address and you will automatically receive the entire blog posts in your inbox as soon as the blogger posts a story. You will however miss reading the comments.

» Via Google Translate (just replace labnol with any blog name you want to read like indiauncut)

google.com/translate?langpair=en|en&u=labnol.blogspot.com

» Via Google Mobile Search (replace labnol with the blog name)

google.com/gwt/n?u=labnol.blogspot.com

»Via Helping Pakistan (replace labnol with the blog name)

www.pkblogs.com/labnol

» If any of the above methods fail, try using an anonymous proxy service like www.unipeak.com/ or proxify.com/

I am a Blogger. How can I ensure my readers see my blogspot.com blogs ?

Here are a couple of things that may help your blog fans in India, China or Pakistan read your blog even when the Government has blocked access to the sites:

1. Use Feedburner for syndicating Blog Content [tutorial] - even if the blogspot.com site is blocked, feeds hosted on feedburner will still be accessible.

2. The good news is that while blogspot.com site is blocked, blogger.com is still accessible which means bloggers can create/edit/delete posts or reader comments from the blog control panel. However if the blogger.com site is also blocked, here's what bloggers can do to administrate their blogs:

» Convert the Blogger.com Hostname to a Numeric IP address (http://66.102.15.100) - Most ISPs block site by name but not by IP address so this should work.

» If the ISP is smart and even blocks the numeric ip address, convert the IP address (66.102.15.100) to a decimal number (1113984868) - Now access the blogger start page by typing http://1113984868

.

Wednesday, 12 July 2006

Blasts!

It was a black day for India yesterday, July 11, 2006.There were grenade attacks in Srinagar, J&K, five in all. 7 killed, many injured. It happened around 1.30 pm.

In the evening starting 6.25 pm there were series of blasts in the western railway line in Mumbai which lasted for eleven minutes. Eight blasts in all. Local trains, that too first class bogies were targetted. It was that time when most were returning from work. The trains are crowded at that time.The impacts were so great that the bogies were blown off. Blood and gore everywhere. Latest news, 190 dead, 650 injured. The figure can only rise. Many are missing.

Why were innocent people targetted? Those who have nothing to do with policies. Those who only worry for their family.

When is our Govt going to learn? Why do we have such soft policies? Why can't we be hard on terrorists? Why do we let Pakistan have its way? Why do we support pseudo-secularism?What purpose has talks served with Pakistan? We need answers, hard decisions and change in policies.

Why do our politicians need so much security that the common man is left without any? Why does our intelligence has failed time and time again? When will we learn from the past mistakes?

It fills me with deep anguish. I know there are no easy answers but I ask nonetheless......

Friday, 7 July 2006

Self-less Love

what is mine is yours
what is yours is mine
i take your diamonds
you pay off my debts!

Wednesday, 5 July 2006

Monday, 3 July 2006

Sunday, 2 July 2006

Haiku---smoke and fire












Photo : JEFF LEE



What do you desire
black body without heart, soul
all smoke and no fire

Haiku--filtering sadness

Photo : Jeff Lee

bright yellow sunshine
filtering through dark forest
sadness in my heart

Haiku----screaming mind















Lilies in the pond

standing tall, falling apart
like silence in my mind