Sunday 18 November 2007

congealed----Read Write Poem & Monday Poetry Train



This poem is an attempt by combining a few American Sentences. Each sentence contains 17 syllables. It’s simply the name Allen Ginsberg chose for this poetry form. You can read more about American Sentences at www.americansentences.com, where Paul Nelson talks about them in detail.

time just moves quietly like sand pouring from the gaps of my fingers
red bricks visible to the eyes, those austere walls stare back, reflecting
nothing, starkness means we draw anything on those, not feel guilt ridden
is that possible? conditioned the way we are of embellishments,
plain objects means drabness, which needs to be taken care of drastically
by social norms, that standardizes so-called behavioural patterns.
hard-hitting questions dance around in mind with no specific answers.
blocking out, I take out milk and try to cook my breakfast, spoiling it.
congealed oats- stuck to the walls of glass- reminder of my gelled life.

I am trying out this auto-linky thing for the first time!!

31 comments:

  1. very cool! a prose poem composed of american sentences! i like it! and i may have to try it myself!

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  2. cool poem!
    it is interesting, i haven't heard of this style. i will have to check out the link. thanks for sharing this.

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  3. Wow, what a trip. Paul Nelson was my business partner years ago. We co-founded SPLAB together in the mid-90's. Yes, I've always liked this form, but I've never seen anyone apply it to a longer poem, just single haiku-like poems.

    Very cool, you should send it to Paul, he would appreciate it.

    I love the more abstract ideas moving down into the tangible and mundane idea of breakfast oats. This form worked well for your style and rhythms, in particular your line breaks.

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  4. Interesting images, Gautami. I didn't dare try a combo, I found them tricky enough as they stood.......which is weird because I usually find haiku a breeze.

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  5. Very cool. Interesting form. I've never tried it before. Might have to give it a go.

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  6. Your poem is great! It all flows nicely into the last line, which I remember clearly from your first post. You are gifted at this American Sentence style. I look forward to reading more of this type of poem of yours.

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  7. i like the new template. But what does the autolink thing do?

    Nice form of poem...interesting.

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  8. lovely evocative images. i especially like that it seems to tell a story.

    time has been much on my mind this week so this speaks strongly to me.

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  9. this flows nicely. You've lost your landscape at the top of your blog!

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  10. You are always a brave one. I could only attempt one-sies--two-sies. And here you have a poem.

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  11. Interesting concept, hadn't thought of the combined sentences, but they work well.

    Rose

    xo

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  12. I cangratulate you for doing a so good job with this so difficult kind of poem!! I find it impossible to do that kind of poem and being able to have a result just a bit beautiful!!
    I admire you for this!!!

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  13. Danika, I emailed this to Paul Nelson. Let us see if it pleases him or he slays me!

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  14. 'blocking out, I take out milk and try to cook my breakfast, spoiling it.
    congealed oats- stuck to the walls of glass- reminder of my gelled life.'

    LOVE your closing lines. I agree with everyone - this form suits your voice perfectly. Thanks for popping by my party!

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  15. Superb Gautami, wow. You make it sound so easy, yet I learnt how difficult. "reminder of my gelled life" says it all. Thank you.

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  16. I like this style of poetry, Gautami and your poem is very good. :)

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  17. ga-roooooooveey mama!
    I was diggin your jive...
    it sounds like a trip that I took back in the 60s..
    Far Out!

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  18. That comes across as something Ginsburg would have come up with, yeah. And darned hard, too!

    I admire people with the discipline to do these sorts of poems. Way cool.

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  19. Very interesting twist to combine several American Sentences into one long poem. I like the creation you came up with.

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  20. how cool that you combined them to make a poem and yet each one can stand alone. Have you tried writing ghazals?

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  21. Nice. I'll have to give this a try.

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  22. That's really neat. I'll have to try it out for one of my Christmas editions. :)

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  23. You did the linked lines really well. I tried my hand at it this morning and it felt like the lines were really long. You, however, used your line breaks and vivid imagery to keep the poem moving. Nice!

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  24. You took on quite an enterprise! I've thought to integrate my lines into a poem, but not a poem entirely made up of American Sentences. Well done!

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  25. Wow! This is my first glimpse of American sentences. Loved it!

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  26. I liked the last line particularly - "reminder of my gelled life"

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  27. This was great! I loved the way you brought it all together, I could only put one sentance out there as a thought. This was great!

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  28. this was fascinating and incredible!
    whoot! you go Gautami!
    tried to visit last night but google kept throwing me out. beast.
    i'm gonna have to try this one....

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  29. Yeah, I like it! I think it's really good that you managed a whole poem of American Sentences at such short notice. The link thingy's really hi-tech too!

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  30. very interesting and a beautiful flow to this poem.

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  31. Beautiful--and I liked the idea of hanging them all together like this...
    Love,
    D.

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