Wednesday, 7 November 2007

at the end of a journey--totally optional prompts

Totally Optional Prompts wants us to write evocative poetry.

I chose a random word from read. write. poem as asked by Jillypoet on her NaBloPoMo page and wrote this 11 line poem. Hope this works for both!

at the end of a journey

you endure an ice-coated carapace,
much like a goldfish swathed by aspic.
heartbeat picking once more to full moon.

rousing too soon onto a gallery of glass,
cavorting dewdrop lets off cold tentacles.
thorns of a plant prickle as you pass.

your voyage outlines obliterated passages

like water wandering in crumbled drains.

skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
veneer of ostensible spirited strength-

giving in, you gaze into vast nothingness.


  1. It all ends in vast nothingness - I feel like I'm floating out into space!

  2. This is very good, Gautami.

  3. My, these roots have grown big and strong. Somehow that makes me happy.

  4. Gautami - this is a particularly well written piece. Very dense imagry. I love the tone and the pace at which it moves

  5. i like the tactile pieces: cold tentacles (tentacles is one of my favorite images to use/read) and thorns of plant prickle.

    thanks for visiting fertile ground, we've slowly allowed it to develop as it wanted to -- organically -- which is totally appropriate for our theme.

  6. I made love to a girl like that... I think it was in Vienna on and educational trip. Thx

  7. skin crumbles into itself, crawling over
    veneer of ostensible spirited strength

    very good Gautami, liked the feel the word veneer brought to the poem

  8. Excellent!!! WHEN is your book coming out? Write it, Gautami.

  9. Beautiful words, I loved reading this aloud.

  10. Really wonderful! I love this line..."water wandering in crumbled drains"
    So lovely!

  11. Ah, very nice. It takes me away to bigger places...

  12. Wow, such wonderful words used to create such vivid images! I'm sorry real life has kept me away from your beautiful's good to visit again.

  13. "heartbeat picking once more to full moon" got me right here! (in my heart!) What is it about the moon that just makes a poem? Well done! ~Linda

  14. Evocative indeed.

    I was deeply saddened by every aspic-t of your crush-tacean's carap-lysmic demise.
    I could literally feel Death's icy grip on my own tenta-scles.

    This was about a Lobster getting plucked out of his tank in a busy Restaurant right...
    wasn't it?

  15. wonderful imagery here to convey a deep meaning...