scented leaves of pine
make me pine for you
thorny needles prick me
that droplet of blood
is it an omen?
I believe it isn't
red clay of the earth
has another story to tell
hush little baby, don't you cry
this isn't goodbye, this isn't goodbye
in orange-grey light, dews do sign bright
"pining pines shed their needles,
pricking me again and again"
Strong poem. Just like the writer.
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with Amanda. This poem has great weight and is filled with concrete images. Well done!
ReplyDeleteNamaste..........cj
Whoops! I put Addie's name where mine should have been. I have started a blog for her and am managing it. Sorry for the name confusion. I will link using my name until she is ready to take over....................cj
ReplyDeleteBeautiful imagery!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous poem, Gautami.
ReplyDeletePamela
LOvely write.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Yes, great imagery in this.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, strong ending!
ReplyDeleteI love the goodbye repetition, and there's an 'other world' feeling coming through strongly.
ReplyDelete<3
Wow! very interesting poetry...well done! Peace and blessings
ReplyDeleteI agree with Andy. I like that repetition within such a strong piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was really rich. I especially like "This isn't goodbye. This isn't goodbye." Very powerful.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
This was my favorite part:
ReplyDeletehush little baby, don't you cry
this isn't goodbye, this isn't goodbye
Really nice.
=)
It works for me. Good rhythm.
ReplyDeleteStrong sensations, and a carrying away to a magical space.
ReplyDeleteopportunity nicely achieved ...
ReplyDeleteA very visual and moving poem!~Ames
ReplyDeleteExcellent poem !
ReplyDeleteI love how you brought nature in to represent mood of the piece.
Brimming with emotion, tension and a sense of happiness at some future time ! ( I have to hope it will be so...)
Powerful. Strong. Multi-faceted. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteWow. Love your visualization.