Thursday, 3 March 2011

rivulets of space

spaces. unseen spaces.
can you parade it between us-
tangible in its wake
I leave my space to smile at your a boyish charm
a flame gasps and slips in between
I let it defy with my typical thinking
a space can't question it

I put my elbow on my thigh,
go into a trance
creating bit more space

"we can let it melt later, merging it with musty rivulets of ourselves"
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21 comments:

  1. Laurie Kolp4 March 2011 at 05:04

    Dreamy and intriguing... nice take on the prompt!

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  2. vivinfrance4 March 2011 at 05:29

    There's more to this than meets the eye! I suspect eroticism here... Lovely.

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  3. Linda Jacobs4 March 2011 at 07:18

    Love the last few words! "musty rivulets of ourselves" Wow!

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  4. flaubert4 March 2011 at 08:58

    Gautami, a dreamy piece. I love the ending.

    Pamela

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  5. Mike Patrick4 March 2011 at 11:20

    I find myself staring off into space as I ponder the depth of this poem.

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  6. Tumblewords:4 March 2011 at 12:51

    I love the final lines! Rich!

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  7. nan4 March 2011 at 17:45

    unseen spaces . . . very nice work, as always, guatami!

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  8. Tilly Bud5 March 2011 at 00:38

    I love the idea of tangible spaces.

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  9. thingy5 March 2011 at 02:37

    Very pretty and soothing, Gautami.

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  10. Shari5 March 2011 at 10:31

    Interesting thought-provoking poem. Very nice flow. I also suspect there's more here than meets the eye. Nicely done!

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  11. Cathy6 March 2011 at 11:15

    Interesting poem, seem a little bittersweet too.

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  12. Mardianv6 March 2011 at 12:38

    More to this than meets the eye - indeed! Great last line!

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  13. Joseph Harker6 March 2011 at 16:55

    Like Tilly said, tangible spaces is a curious notion... makes me think of picking them up, rolling them around between fingertips. And sharing something so curious is certainly intimate and beautiful.

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  14. Harshad mehta6 March 2011 at 20:31

    Enjoy that S P A C E.

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  15. Jingle7 March 2011 at 08:57

    very beautiful wording..

    you rock.
    A++
    :)

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  16. The Write Girl7 March 2011 at 18:46

    I love the creative space this poem operates in. Nicely written.

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  17. lunawitch157 March 2011 at 23:46

    I wish I couldwrite like that....

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  18. Ramesh Sood8 March 2011 at 07:59

    I am no more amazed..no more surprised..I come to read something unique here...I find it.. feel happy..and move on to return.. Thanks!!!

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  19. Gyanban10 March 2011 at 04:05

    Subtle erotica is very sensual indeed - was it by design or accident?

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  20. Jingle10 March 2011 at 18:42

    love your take on the big tent poetry,

    I tried this time, here is mine:
    http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2011/03/big-tent-poetry-in-55-words.html

    Thanks for reading.

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  21. sandra11 March 2011 at 13:02

    beautiful lovely images and emotions!

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