Saturday, 15 January 2011

Thigh story (25 words, 160 characters)

His single kidney split into two.
Hissing.
Flowed on his thighs.
Yellowed.
Dried, his thighs look like the lottery ticket.
Don't eat your pretzels from it.
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25 comments:

  1. Koby15 January 2011 at 04:57

    Your Centus made my kidney hurt..I love your originality.

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  2. Terra15 January 2011 at 05:02

    yes, I cringed a little. UGH. Nice take on this!

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  3. nimaruichi15 January 2011 at 05:11

    Poor guy!
    (Not even thinking of pretzels at the moment)
    :)

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  4. cesar gealogo15 January 2011 at 05:28

    Very clever and I did like the way you say things in a few words but with deep insights. Well done and good day.

    Your words conveys deep meaning.

    You can find my words in the poetry world at http://www.cesargealogo.com

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  5. hip-chick15 January 2011 at 07:51

    very interesting take on this.

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  6. Ames15 January 2011 at 08:20

    I cringe with a sense of lost hope.~Ames

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  7. Sue15 January 2011 at 08:27

    yikes

    that was kinda visceral

    And i liked it.

    =)

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  8. Deborah15 January 2011 at 09:56

    Now that's an original take!!

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  9. Anna15 January 2011 at 11:24

    Sounds great! But I don't understand it! Original thinking! A little gory perhaps. I'm not sure that I want to know what this poem means. Some things are best left as they are!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's SC#37-The lottery ticket

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  10. Kat15 January 2011 at 11:32

    I can always count on you for an original, thought provoking Centus. The image of the kidney splitting, hissing - really nicely done. Kat

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  11. Tina15 January 2011 at 12:24

    Quite the picture you painted there...yikes!

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  12. flaubert15 January 2011 at 17:07

    Wow, that brought quite the image to mind!
    Pamela

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  13. cj Schlottman15 January 2011 at 17:31

    Nice work with the concrete, if unpleasant, images. It makes me feel a great sense of loss, and I marvel at your ability to say so much in so few words.

    Great post..........cj

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  14. Jo15 January 2011 at 23:25

    the imagery is something else ... what an interesting take!

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  15. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com16 January 2011 at 00:44

    You take us on such an interesting journey in so few words. I appreciate it.
    xoRobyn

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  16. Brian Miller16 January 2011 at 04:42

    dont dip your chip in it...eww...lol. it does make my kidney hurt...

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  17. Claudia16 January 2011 at 05:19

    agh...

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  18. Viki16 January 2011 at 06:47

    I will have to think on this one lol.

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  19. Monkey Man16 January 2011 at 09:42

    Ack! Most definitely wouldn't eat pretzels or anything else off that surface. Thanks for playing along with the Sunday 160.

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  20. Alice Audrey16 January 2011 at 09:59

    Ewwwww!!!

    Oh, wait. Cooked?

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  21. Jingle16 January 2011 at 10:47

    wow...

    watch out...
    striking words..well played.

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  22. Nancy Jane16 January 2011 at 11:22

    Powerful. Guess I'll be chewing on this one all week...

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  23. Kavita16 January 2011 at 15:28

    Eow.. (cringing and wincing)
    A very tight write though!

    (I am kinda glad I am not a fan of pretzels) :)

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  24. jeff campbell20 January 2011 at 05:21

    A certain Haiku quality to this...nice...Peace and blessings

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  25. Jenny22 January 2011 at 12:13

    Amazing how grossed out you made so many of us in only 25 words.

    That is some well-done micro-fiction.

    Thanks for linking.

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