Wednesday, 12 January 2011

a singing note

a speck I see afar
my eyes don't waver
nor do I move
moist surroundings still me
I see the dot getting bigger
a dog yelps somewhere
a harmless sound
yet I jump
symphony of my tapping feet
reach my eyes shutting them
when I open again
the speck is gone

"my song, your music, they dance together"
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16 comments:

  1. twitches12 January 2011 at 09:42

    moist surroundings still me

    That's a great line!

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  2. Tess Kincaid12 January 2011 at 11:34

    Love that symphony of your tapping feet!

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  3. Sheilagh's Sweet Nothings12 January 2011 at 12:11

    wow very descriptive.Well done

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  4. ThomG12 January 2011 at 17:09

    Love this new vein you're on, the kicker of a last line. And so many great lines in this. Very descriptive.

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  5. Jinksy13 January 2011 at 02:51

    Sometimes our eyes and ears play tricks...

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  6. jaerose13 January 2011 at 04:40

    You always leave me with a sense of the emotions running through your 'stories'...very clever writing..Jae

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  7. Ramesh Sood13 January 2011 at 09:00

    I enjoyed it.. thoroughly.. thanks!!

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  8. Jingle13 January 2011 at 10:49

    elegant writing..

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  9. Mama Zen13 January 2011 at 11:22

    This is so real!

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  10. Suko13 January 2011 at 15:25

    Much to love about your poem!

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  11. Tumblewords:14 January 2011 at 20:50

    Oh, this is wonderful!

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  12. Kavita14 January 2011 at 23:05

    I smelt rain in this one... I guess it was the 'moist surroundings' effect.. really liked that!
    Music really works wonder on one's mind..does it not? Quite magical indeed.. in its various forms..

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  13. signed...bkm15 January 2011 at 17:11

    "moist surroundings still me"....beautiful...music indeed...bkm

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  14. Reflections16 January 2011 at 22:12

    Beautifully descriptive... love the line, 'moist surroundings still me'... wonderful images of those tapping feet.

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  15. kathew17 January 2011 at 07:09

    toe tapping great!

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  16. Trulyfool17 January 2011 at 12:33

    gautami,

    Likening a passing eye 'floater' to a musical note to nearby sounds to one's own rhythm to the disappearance of the 'dot'.

    Followed it that way, and liked it!

    Trulyfool

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