softly I touch the air
my fingers dance merrily
feeling the moments
waft of your presence
travels through time or space
(I don't care what)
tiny particles of thoughts
slowly grow bigger
transcending unknown arena
it was not at first time
nor at the second or the third
yet it slowly took over me/you
softly I touch the air
my palms opening up towards you
closing my eyes, I look at you
"even the divine can't explain love
or the tolerance it brings within us"
Your words taste like fine wine, and linger on my lips.
ReplyDeleteI love the image you begin with! AQnd the wisdom at the end!
ReplyDeleteso beautiful. I especially love the beginning. It sets everything up so perfectly. bravo.
ReplyDeleteOhh wow!!!!Just love the flow.
ReplyDeleteWhat they said.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
And you're right, it does touch alongside mine! Although I wouldn't want to claim mine was as good ;-)
Not ya best work aye?
ReplyDeleteNice--I like the idea of tolerance and love going hand in hand.
ReplyDeleteAh...beautiful Guatami - the last two lines a perfect ending.
ReplyDeleteVery pretty here, Guatami. Feelings of love that you can't explain but you know.
ReplyDeleteThank you too, for the critique. I didn't like the third one either, I edited it quite a bit. Now it might be closer to telling my intended meaning.
..
Sometimes what I think is love is just constipation.
ReplyDeleteThis was a most refreshing read.
Grasping for one of the ultimate mysteries. You say it well.
ReplyDeleteLove make tolerance possible in a lot situations. An excellent observation!
ReplyDeleteThe last stanza spells out, too jarringly for me, the beautiful sense of acceptance and tolerance you painted beforehand.
ReplyDeleteWhen the reaching is followed by the finding, life feels good. Lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteThere's something sublime in those lines..
ReplyDeleteSo gentle and delicate, yet with a powerful impact. Beautiful!
ReplyDeletemakes me think of child holding out his or her hand anxiously waiting for someone to take it, it's almost dreamlike to me
ReplyDeleteCould be read as a guitar-solo as well. Good one.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Ralf
Hi!
ReplyDeleteJust a reminder that you're up next week with "dropped" at OSI! Please send a poem and/or image by Friday.
“yet it slowly took over me/you
ReplyDeletesoftly I touch the air”
tolerance,
there is a hair’s breath between I and thou
beautiful!
I especially like how the first few stanzas work on this.
ReplyDeleteAn apt conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment..this is lovely..I think the power of love (the many aspects) is captured here in how it marvelously works out..manifests. Thanks-
ReplyDeleteWhat an experience Guatami! A lovely poem and idea.
ReplyDeleteThe magical mystery of love - wonderful!
ReplyDeleteLove is the key. Yes!
ReplyDeleteThere is a spirit to your poem
ReplyDeletethat has touched my heart.
Such a lovely love story...
ReplyDeleteummmm...
ReplyDeletetolerance is such a conflicted term, isn't it.
Liked this a lot, gautami--and thanks for your sweet message on my post this week.
What a beautiful poem...your words dance merrily in the air as well. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful.
ReplyDelete