Wednesday, 20 February 2008

submerge



This one is from my archives. I played around a bit, changing a word or two.

in the stillness of night
if you persist
in being that close to me-

I will have to find a way
to plunge myself
into your luminous soul.
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27 comments:

  1. Square120 February 2008 at 16:27

    Oh my gosh, Gautami! So simple, and yet so deep and powerful too. I'm in awe.

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  2. trinitystar20 February 2008 at 16:52

    I like it ... full of depth :o)

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  3. Kai C.20 February 2008 at 17:59

    deep

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  4. Susan Helene Gottfried20 February 2008 at 18:13

    WOW.

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  5. Margie20 February 2008 at 19:46

    So very deep!
    Wonderful poem!

    It was a lovely surprise having you visit me today!
    Thanks, Gautami for the kind comment!

    Margie

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  6. paisley21 February 2008 at 03:24

    for some reason it makes me feel like being in love with a ghost or an angel... very beautiful...

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  7. Don Iannone21 February 2008 at 04:13

    I like this! Thank you for these words, Gautami.

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  8. gingatao21 February 2008 at 04:19

    Very clever thought turn around in the middle, from cautious to actively engaged which is reflected in the structure of the poem. There is something enticing and smilingly tricky and sexy in it.

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  9. hedwyg21 February 2008 at 05:47

    Hoo boy - that is hot and sweet and deep. Gorgeous poem, Gautami!

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  10. Brian21 February 2008 at 06:25

    Fair warning Gautami. Very direct.

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  11. lissa21 February 2008 at 06:31

    I really like the last line - I will have to find a way to plunge myself into your luminous soul. Like a love poem.

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  12. anthonynorth21 February 2008 at 06:58

    Love burrows deep in this. Excellent.

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  13. Homo Escapeons21 February 2008 at 07:42

    Thank You for the head's up...
    Forewarned is Forearmed.

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  14. keith hillman21 February 2008 at 08:58

    That is so good. But then your work always is

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  15. Crafty Green Poet21 February 2008 at 09:28

    short and to the point, excellent

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  16. tumblewords21 February 2008 at 10:20

    Wow! That's clever and very good!

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  17. Linda Jacobs21 February 2008 at 13:14

    I like the way both second lines have the same number of syllables. Very haiku-like with it's simplicity!

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  18. SweetTalkingGuy21 February 2008 at 13:31

    Wow! luminous soul!
    How cool's that?

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  19. Jo21 February 2008 at 13:49

    yes luminous soul is lovely, this is very good, Gautami

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  20. noahthegreat21 February 2008 at 16:57

    It sounds very devious.

    Plunge into my soul, if you can find it.

    I can't believe I still haven't added you to my blogroll. Damn it Gautami, I will now.

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  21. Mike Mc21 February 2008 at 21:32

    I like the ambiguity in the first stanza, it leaves plenty of room to think about. Good job.

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  22. Scott21 February 2008 at 23:29

    i really enjoy reading your stuff..
    always a twist in them..
    thanks for sharing this one..

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  23. kryan890722 February 2008 at 10:32

    very nice, very powerful for such brevity.

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  24. my backyard22 February 2008 at 14:32

    Very powerful. I agree with the others that it packs quite a punch for a short poem.

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  25. Leonard Blumfeld23 February 2008 at 10:24

    Wonderful. Treads with poise on a sensitive line between feeling and some irony.

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  26. Stan Ski24 February 2008 at 17:44

    The essence of that feeling we often find so difficult to express.
    Some of us are less sincere and find it easy to deceive with flattery.
    Love the sentiment; not sure how it would sound coming from me.

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  27. polona1 March 2008 at 09:28

    love this.

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