Lately his fluidity of motion was gone
He was controlled with a sense that was somehow scary to her
He was out in the flowing river barely visible, she kept looking at time.
She had made sure, their watches synchronised.
Swimming back, without a word, he lay down besides her
Barely noticing her
Something has changed, she could not figure out the reason
His manner towards her was like painting, very formal, careful strokes
At night, he could not stay away from her
His passion burning bright like stars
Come daylight, as if the stars did not exist
She considered all the bad possibilities
It was a dive into the unknown
Whale’s song intruded into her thoughts
She shivered beside him
Turned towards him, she buried her face into his neck
He pulled her closer, sharing his warmth with her
Changed? Nothing had changed
His love for her had ripened
It could only get better with age
Very interesting blog.
ReplyDeleteI am scrolling through and reading archives.
Have a great weekend. By the way, Michelle sent me!
Chana
www.bunnyburrow.com
How nice for the woman that he still loved her. Men do go through silent periods, when they seem cold and distant. Your poem describes these feelings well.
ReplyDeletei so hope that last line is true :)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put!
ReplyDeleteNice use of the prompt words - this is a lovely narrative of a relationship.
ReplyDeleteTrue love is eternal, regardless of age. This is very true.
ReplyDeleteVery well put.
Gautami, I am a sucker for a love story. I especially like the ending. I am sorry for not getting the words up yesterday. I simply forgot. Have a nice weekend.
ReplyDeleteVery nice poem. I really do like these writing exercises, it gives people a chance to fles their creative muscles a bit.
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me.
I loved the reality in this... after nearly 34 years of marriage, I can vouch it rings true... including the ending you gave it, Gautami.
ReplyDeletebeautiful!!
ReplyDeletebut often a times, it seldom holds as true in reality...
but i guess the possibility that it could is in itsself a wonderful feeling...:)
Interesting...
ReplyDeleteI love your writing style.
I love this, Gautami! How I wish I have the talent of writting poems! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautifully written post to describe the doubt on the part of the woman and re-assurance given by the man.
ReplyDeletesometimes i wish stuff like that was more common than it seems to be... this was very beautiful guatami
ReplyDeletevery romantic! just in time for valentine's day :D
ReplyDeleteA beautiful vision!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem. I have enjoyed reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteRobin of mytwoblessings
Gautami - omother lovely piece and very different from your normal work. You never let us down
ReplyDeletesynchronized swimming? that was a hard one. I like how you separate it.
ReplyDeletewhat a sweet piece.
Inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThe promise of forever.
Eternal love.
'Tis possible.
I believe.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
Ahh, mature love. Not as intense, but yet deeper and more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteShe was worried that something had changed. He reassured her that nothing had changed...
ReplyDeletethe endless possibilities of love!
This line was so descriptive: "His manner towards her was like painting, very formal, careful strokes". Relationships never stay the same even when we want them to; but I love the optimism of the last line because I believe it can be that way if we are working to make it so.
ReplyDeleteI think it's true what they say - love never dies. Very nice piece!
ReplyDeleteI think there was a change, change in what he wanted to see, and what he saw.
ReplyDeleteLovely! The 'fluidity'carried from first line to last. :)
ReplyDeletewaow!! this was so cool..
ReplyDeletein any relationship for that matter this is so true!
You have made very clever use of the Friday 5, especially 'synchronised swimming' and made a really good response to 'changed' at the same time.
ReplyDeleteA lovely piece! Thank you for the beautiful poem this morning.
ReplyDeletebeautiful and touching.
ReplyDeletea beautiful tapestry of love...that we should all have experienced with age...
ReplyDelete"His love for her had ripened
ReplyDeleteIt could only get better with age."
Those two lines are so full of romantic possiblity. I love it!
painting with formal strokes. Great way to put it. Yes it happens but love deepens. Beautiful
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post. Change is a good thing if it is indeed for the better. Which his was.
ReplyDeleteI love this - but then I like most of your work.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my email has been up and down all week, so I apologize for your link being added so late - I didn't get the notification.
Adore the richness of this! But I especially love the painting image!
ReplyDeleteSmiles and Light