Thursday 21 August 2008

powdered charcoal--half a poem

coldness seeps into him almost burning his skin after that intense heat
he turns towards it welcoming it
he puts out his hand, snatching it back again
why can't he feel anything in his fingers
he tries to open his eyes, finds only holes there
why is he smelling burnt wood powderded to charcoal
concentrating hard enough, he faces the inevitable truth

death can only have only colour, which is amalgamation of all others
his cremation could only come after he had died from drowning

19 comments:

  1. That was really nice twist at the end. A pretty novel idea.

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  2. Whow! Sinister, and good! Great ending.

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  3. Love the twist. But, of course! Nicely done!

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  4. Very dark. I love the shifting between fire and water, heat and cold.

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  5. Cremation and Drowning has created a wonderful tug of war for my imagination.
    Love it.

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  6. Confusion, realisation. Quite a sinister atmosphere to it, but the inevitable is taken so casually.
    The style of this one works for me.

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  7. Always a twist in the tail........

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  8. This certainly holds one's attention! Fine tension between heat and cold.

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  9. Pretty intense. Interesting possibilities without punctuation.

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  10. Wonderfully dark and so imotive. A gem.

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  11. That is superb. "Half a poem," eh? Wonderful.

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