Friday, 11 February 2011

lined up...

that house,
with quaint windows beckons me
I peep inside.
wavering shadows hide something
outside sunshine enhances the depth of darkness inside
I rub the walls
the crumbled powder of blankness
engulfs me
I imagine a dog sitting at the door

"headhunters have placed the heads on the inners walls.
what ails them, I wonder?"
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35 comments:

  1. nan11 February 2011 at 03:33

    I like the mystery and innocent curiosity of the narrator. Very interesting poem.

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  2. Brian Miller11 February 2011 at 04:13

    i like the feeling of the walls, it is something i would do...not sure about that last line, if i get it.

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  3. Austin11 February 2011 at 04:45

    Soft walk through thoughts there . . . I spent about 3 minutes pondering the last line though.

    Without Words is my 55 this week.

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  4. Jingle11 February 2011 at 05:22

    outside sunshine enhances the depth of darkness inside

    love the line, beautiful magpie in 55.
    Cheers.

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  5. Judy Roney11 February 2011 at 05:29

    Mysterious and scary. I really like this and want to know more. :)

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  6. G-Man11 February 2011 at 07:05

    Gautami...
    You have turned an innocent looking house, into something enigmatic.
    Wonderful Job My Friend.
    Loved your 55!
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

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  7. flaubert11 February 2011 at 08:29

    Gautami, you added quite the twist to this. It seemed very peaceful and then ...

    Pamela

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  8. Marianv11 February 2011 at 08:53

    Loved that last line. Things are not always what they seem.

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  9. LKHarris-Kolp11 February 2011 at 09:42

    Very intriguing with a surprise ending... I enjoyed this on a lot!

    ~laurie

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  10. L.L. Barkat11 February 2011 at 10:22

    "I rub the walls"

    I liked that simple image.

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  11. Alice Audrey11 February 2011 at 11:07

    I can't seem to shake the idea of the kind of headhunters that find you a new job. Twisted, I know.

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  12. Monkey Man11 February 2011 at 11:10

    Quite the mystery.

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  13. Akelamalu11 February 2011 at 11:30

    I love mysterious houses!

    Nice 55. :)

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  14. hedgewitch11 February 2011 at 11:45

    Liked the twist and the bizarre ending...I'm thinking portraits of ancestors dripping cobwebs...nice magpie/55 combination.

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  15. lime11 February 2011 at 19:11

    goodness what must lurk inside...

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  16. twitches11 February 2011 at 19:47

    Great ending!

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  17. RNSANE11 February 2011 at 20:38

    It seemed like a nice little house in the winter snow - then, all of a sudden you took that mysterious turn!!

    My 55 is at:

    http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/02/friday-flash-55-happy-valentines-day.html

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  18. Stranger11 February 2011 at 20:52

    I like the feel here -- but the last lines are in quotations, who is speaking these words?
    What ails the headhunters or the heads?
    "crumbled powder of blankness" is a neat description thought.

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  19. Madeleine Begun Kane11 February 2011 at 22:50

    Very evocative and mysterious.

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  20. Gerry/Strummed words11 February 2011 at 23:23

    A little spooky, all those secrets within!

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  21. Rethabile12 February 2011 at 05:06

    Nicely done, Gautami. Happy you're still writing...

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  22. Philip Thrift12 February 2011 at 06:03

    Loved the feeling of mystery left behind.

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  23. Everyday Goddess12 February 2011 at 07:12

    you've made me wonder more about this mysterious house. nice magging!

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  24. barbara12 February 2011 at 07:33

    Pretty certain it isn't what you intended, but I like the idea of the dog saying that last bit. "what ails them?", indeed.

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  25. lightverse12 February 2011 at 07:35

    This was such a cool read. I did not expect the ending, but really enjoyed it!

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  26. Tumblewords:12 February 2011 at 10:06

    Oh! I would never have guessed. Nice piece!

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  27. Short poems12 February 2011 at 10:54

    Really interesting poem, mysterious and scary one. So nicely written!
    All the best
    Marinela x

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  28. Cathy12 February 2011 at 16:28

    Those last lines, they could be read some many ways

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  29. Elizabeth12 February 2011 at 17:13

    Isn't that what we do when we meet someone, mentally rub the walls, trying to get in, and then making our own pictures from spoken words? Love the feelings in this one,

    Elizabeth

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  30. Jeanne Aguilar12 February 2011 at 19:36

    This poem has a beautiful flow to it. I liked hearing the inner thoughts of the narrator, and at the end I wonder if the question is about the head hunters or the hunted?

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  31. irene12 February 2011 at 21:24

    Enigmatic!

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  32. Kavita14 February 2011 at 10:50

    quite a chilling 55, Gautami.. in all its innocence, it sure made me ponder deep!!
    Sometimes, the most mundane of landscapes present the most creative of imaginations!

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  33. Tess Kincaid14 February 2011 at 12:02

    This makes me feel very uneasy!

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  34. Erin Davis15 February 2011 at 09:46

    I love the "crumbled powder of blankness" and the surprising twist at the end!

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  35. James22 February 2011 at 15:59

    "sunshine enhances the depths of darkness"... very true and a great bit in this eerie piece.

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