the train enters that tunnel
I expect it to grab me
my ears ring with muffled sound
in dimmed light
shadows become apparitions when
the train enters that tunnel
coldness seeps into me
inaudible movement scares me
I expect it to grab me
daylight becomes night
each sound resonates
my ears ring with muffled sound
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Cascade Poem is like this:
1st Stanza: line 1, line 2, line 3
2nd Stanza: line a, line b, repeat line 1
3rd Stanza: line c, line d, repeat line 2
4th Stanza: line e, line f, repeat line 3
Guatami,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a fantastic job on the cascade.
Pamela
Ooo, this is cool. Love the description and you explanation of a Cascading poem.
ReplyDeleteMy 55 is HERE .
wow...I could definitely sense the feeling in your words.
ReplyDeleteVery very nice!!! Great job!
ReplyDeleteTunnels always freak me out a bit. Just a bit. :o)
Mine's up HERE
I just Love Teachers!
ReplyDeleteI always learn something every time I visit...You Rock!
Loved your 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
Excellent 55! I must say I'm not a fan of those tight places either.
ReplyDeletewow. neat form...and nice sound to this one...
ReplyDeleteThis is great. It really moves along.
ReplyDeleteExcellently done.
ReplyDeleteInteresting form! good 55,
ReplyDeleteI landed where you put me but I just know
the sound would roar through me-Thanks !
Never heard of cascading. Awesome. On a personal note...don't get caught in a dark blog.
ReplyDeleteYou really depicted the feeling of being in a tunnel.
ReplyDeleteTerrific job with the cascade! I felt as if I was in that tunnel...
ReplyDeletethis is brilliant! the flow is perfect and each stanza fits together like a custom made glove!I have felt this way before it is not pleasant!
ReplyDeleteLovely flow! So well done!
ReplyDeletenice !! wasn't this form so fun !! :)
ReplyDeleteWonderful write and you made the cascade work for you in so many ways, rushing us all toward the tunnel and that moment of darkness. Great capture,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
I never heard of a cascade poem before, I loved it, I have so much to learn about poetry. Thanks for the little lesson.
ReplyDeleteReally well done! It had such a sinister feeling to it... (and I have to drive through a tunnel today. :) )
ReplyDeleteAnd the repetition echoes the chugging of a train, and makes this eerie. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe Straight Poop
I am claustrophobic too. But as long as the train keeps moving, I think I'm okay. :)
ReplyDeletexo
I really like cascades--been playing with them also. this one really works the images and sounds with a nice emphasis. Enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that the trickiest part is to come up with a good first stanza - which you did! Nice 55!
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, Gautami. You really conveyed the feeling of the poem.
ReplyDeletenever heard about this poetic form before...nice..
ReplyDeleteI'm claustrophobic, too, and my chest was tight as I read this poem!
ReplyDeleteLove the tunnel in this cascade! Too cool!
ReplyDeleteWonderful use of form to keep us in the tunnel!
ReplyDeleteI was not familiar with this form before, and I really enjoyed this. Nice job!!
ReplyDelete-C
fabulous capture of your subject,
ReplyDeleteawesome 55.
Being on a train in a tunnel never bothered me before but now it will!
ReplyDeleteMine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/11/flash-55-friday-stoned-november-19-2010.html#links
Oohhh... That really sounded like the words of a claustrophobic... phheeww!!
ReplyDeleteVery well written Gautami!
And the fact that you abided by the rules of the form, and maintained the essence, is really admirable!!
Bravo!!
Loved the cascade - thanks for the info about it
ReplyDeleteIt had a very closed in feel
Nice 55
hope you have a great weekend
moon smile
the imagery you constructed constricted by breathing! i haven't had this feeling more than a couple of times. you really captured it and made the cascade unravel naturally!
ReplyDeleteindeed a nice job with the cascade poem.....thanks for sharing your words again
ReplyDeleteThis was well done.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was an intriguing exercise.
gautami, falling in love with clause poetry... opens a whole new dimension of poetry with unique rhyme.. such as yours...
ReplyDeleteGautami....
ReplyDeleteI think this was the finest example of a cascade that the Big Tent had. I didn't get a chance to write one, but plan to try this holiday weekend. It seemed effortless for you!
Well done!
quid