A piece of white cloth I had bought, to paint on it, turned out to be a bigger project than I had anticipated. Now the shape on it hurts me no end. Blindly I seek you to ask where I placed it.
you were present here
what abyss propelled you in
shroud wraps around you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not all I write is a personal reflection. Please do bear that in mind while reading and commenting. Remember, poets/writers have very vivid imaginations and have the insight for empathy too. You will agree with that if you are either or both. However, many a times we forget the distinction and presume and assume.
intriguing...i agree with your ending statement...i have had to dileniate between truth and fiction on mine a few times...the lines get blurred at times when writing...nice 55...
ReplyDeleteI love the simplicity of the shroud and yet the significance. I too agree as a writer I have an expansive imagination but it's not real.
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend
and thanks for letting One shot be part of 55
Open beginning, potential for painting, mysterious ending. Somehow it seems right that the color is white.
ReplyDeleteInteresting :)
ReplyDeletethis was sad .. even as a write .. i can't stop thinking of the irony here ...
ReplyDeleteNice one. And yes, that distinction must often be made.
ReplyDeleteYou said so much in 55 words. I love the haibun form.
ReplyDelete(And I agree as well with your ending statement!)
Excellent...so profound are your words. AND the commentary at the end, so so true!!
ReplyDeleteHere is my 55 link
A beautiful haibun, a poem I can visualize. And only 55 words!
ReplyDeleteI like your use of the haibun for this prompt; it seems apt.
ReplyDeleteNice 55! The emotional search and artistic sentiment is intriguing.
ReplyDeleteyes there is a lot left to the imagination. i actually imagined this shroud the one of turan. i think you did a beautiful job and picked the perfect 55 words
ReplyDeleteWhen I teach creative writing workshops, I remind the participants that all pieces are to be read as fiction--unless the writer says that the piece is memoir. Too often readers assume that everything comes out of personal history.
ReplyDeleteThis is an evocative piece.
An intriguing twist; something so innocent becomes very different.
ReplyDeleteVery moving words. I guess we've all experienced loss at some time so there is truth in the emotion, if not in the facts.
ReplyDeleteThis is very layered...and thought provoking...
ReplyDelete"Now the shape on it hurts me no end..." - that will linger with me.
Nicely done..
ReplyDeleteMine is up..
--Someone Is Special--
Intriguing..
ReplyDeleteFrankly, reading this from a point of view of insight and empathy makes this make more sense. It's a clear feeling, but not a clear event.
ReplyDeleteGautami excellent haibun! And I like the twist at the end.
ReplyDeletePamela
interesting.. and I liked the comment after... very good imaginations.
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts -- for writing is always born out of the imagination of the 'theater of our mind' truth - fiction a combination of both.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Joanny
yes - we presume and assume - you said lots with your 55
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea that a small project could take on a life/death beyond it's intended purpose.
ReplyDeleteI'm tempted to have something like your closing note as a permanent feature of my blog. sometimes I just like the way the words fit together.
Interesting piece - I enjoyed the visuals. Agree with your comments -
ReplyDeleteGreat 55 with haibun. I also appreciate very much your post script. I so know that feeling where I have had to explain on occassion that - "No, this isn't about you" or "No, I am not depressed, I just have the ability to express a variety of feelings."
ReplyDeleteOh,I liked this very much. 55 and haiku, clever.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about empathic writing - sometimes I write things based on the experiences of others too. I find empathy comes when you try to see things from another's point of view.
ReplyDeletei found it very interesting, the way you put the reflection on a shroud. good one. Even i too face provoked responses at times on my poems. Readers should understand that poems can be imaginative too.
ReplyDeleteWhat an intriguing 55. You are right about the product of a writer's imagination. It seems the better the writer, the more believable the poem or story, and the more likely readers are to believe they are reality rather than fiction or fantasy.
ReplyDeleteRabbit, rabbit.
ReplyDeleteYour 55 is so interesting. it really makes me think and wonder.
So much said in so few words, you capture a life time with your poem. And I also agree with your postscript.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
I LOVE your imagination!! And that you let it flow and fly where it will to create such deep and lasting impressions. If you are not hurting anyone, why NOT take poetic license!
ReplyDeleteBravo!!
xo
Very tight and compact read! Excellently written! =)
ReplyDelete-Weasel
Enigmatic poem.Puzzled!
ReplyDeleteThe sadness in this piece just exudes through every word.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the truth or fiction issue. When I post fiction I have written, I usually indicate at the end that it is a work of fiction, and still people react as if it's a true story. Hubby says it's a sign of good writing - that I made it sound real.
ReplyDeletehmmmm....
ReplyDeletegreat poem
made me think hahahaha
):)(:(
Indeed, even though I write in first person, I am not always the person who writes. In fact, several poems in my growing body of work are poems of shape shifting and I take that ability to be a great blessing. How else can I be a great mage or a tiny frog or a lover of a goddess?
ReplyDeleteHow else can I tell the world?
I really like the starkness of your imagery. Nicely written.
ReplyDeleteThought-provoking haibun. I admire your brevity. I too attempted another haibun this week.
ReplyDeletenest 55.
ReplyDeletefascinating
ReplyDelete