that yellow ball orbits in air drops perfectly in the ditch a child dithers to catch it his hands stick into mud ghosts of dead children haunt his neighborhood
WOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?
You have an ethereal one going here. Thanks for playing the Sunday 160.
ReplyDeletepowerful poem Gautami!
ReplyDeletePamela
Its an awesome poem, great work. hope to see more
ReplyDeleteSuch atmosphere and depth in so few words..very strong and visual piece..thank you for your vist..Jae
ReplyDeleteA brief but so vivid piece of writing. Your final line anchors the other images with a haunting quality. This is a beautiful poem,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
That was an unexpected ending!
ReplyDeleteIt really sucks that there's so much pain hidden behind innocence...
ReplyDeleteI see Susan's point, but I like that a child can still find joy in the world.
ReplyDeleteYikes! That went from sweet to scary with barely a breath between. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteWOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?
ReplyDeleteSort of innocent and scary all together.
ReplyDeletePowerful words indeed!
ReplyDeleteVery nice work. Short poems are difficult. You mastered the simplicity.
ReplyDeleteso very well plotted 160.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with poetry pot luck!
Such depth in your words..very strong and powerful poem..thank you for linking with Potluck. xx
ReplyDeletedeep it is cheers!!!
ReplyDeletedifferent- very different style- enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteWow I love the haunting feel of this :3
ReplyDeleteThis started out so sweet and ended on an eerie note! Packs a lot in few words.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a poem of two halves - both beautifully crafted. I loved "a child dithers".
ReplyDeleteBrief but pungent. Very effective ... I like it.
ReplyDeleteHappy potluck!
Ending gave me a chill—it begins so sweet and innocent. cheers
ReplyDeleteShort yet full of life.
ReplyDelete