I see it in flea market
wrap it in an old newspaper-
a snuff box-
denoting my snuffed out feelings,
send you whimsical note-
letting you know of tarnished hope
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why don't you try something in 160 characters? Space included!
Update: I corrected it to flea but I think flee too worked well. What do you think?
How sad, Gautami. But very whimsical!
ReplyDeleteWhat a poignant little piece. Delightful.
ReplyDeleteThat's so sad.
ReplyDeleteYes, sad but definitely whimsical.
ReplyDeleteVery sad but an AWESOME 160!
ReplyDeleteMine is here
Happy Sunday!
hugs
shakira
perhaps they can add a bit of polish for your tarnish...smiles. things do remind us and bring tactile qualities to our memories
ReplyDeletemy 160
Wonderfully but sadly whimsical!
ReplyDeleteYou'll have a good sneeze and get over the whole sad episode!
ReplyDeleteAt least there is some tarnished hope.
ReplyDeleteNicely wrapped 55
Moon smiles
So sad but very well done!
ReplyDeletenice..little and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, i have tried to write poem in 14o letters.:
How wonderful it is;
When a long forgotten name brings
a smile,
On the other wise deserted lips.
How could such a creative concept not tug at the heart strings of its recipient. Great Sunday 160. Thank you for playing and hope to see you again.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and sad Gautami!
ReplyDeletePamela
Nicely described but sad
ReplyDeleteVery good, should it be "Flea" market though.
ReplyDeleteHey, who let the spelling monkey in? Sorry like I know how to spell!
It's okay you can slap me up the side of the head.
I love "flee" market - fits perfectly with the rest of the story... Nice 160!
ReplyDeleteA full range of emotions well-expressed.
ReplyDeleteWoeful, like word pun (flee) which seems to underscore state of events.
ReplyDeleteOh wee of little faith!
ReplyDeleteShort and very whimsical!
ReplyDelete-Weasel =)
very good!
ReplyDeleteLike the language of flowers, a victorian whimsy.
ReplyDeleteVery emotive Gautami, and I like the word picture you paint. You capture the moment and all those feelings in so little space. Wonderful job,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thought its sad, its still beautiful to be completed in 160 words. Gr8..:)
ReplyDeletewww.sajeevnair.com/blog
A complete story told so sparely - lovely work!
ReplyDeleteFine blend of feelings and expression
ReplyDeleteI like that you include the note of hope, tarnished though it may be.
ReplyDeletePoignant.
You write about a sad feeling, but I think the creativity powering the thoughts ends on a sign of hope.
ReplyDeleteTami, nothing wrong with this poem Sad can be filled with whimsy too. Great read.
ReplyDeleteMelanie
My great grandmother used to snuff.
ReplyDeleteExcellent 160, Gautami!! You say so much with this.
ReplyDelete