Saturday, 25 September 2010

a gift for you

I see it in flea market
wrap it in an old newspaper-
a snuff box-
denoting my snuffed out feelings,
send you whimsical note-
letting you know of tarnished hope

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Why don't you try something in 160 characters? Space included!
Update: I corrected it to flea but I think flee too worked well. What do you think?

31 comments:

  1. How sad, Gautami. But very whimsical!

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  2. What a poignant little piece. Delightful.

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  3. Yes, sad but definitely whimsical.

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  4. Very sad but an AWESOME 160!

    Mine is here

    Happy Sunday!

    hugs
    shakira

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  5. perhaps they can add a bit of polish for your tarnish...smiles. things do remind us and bring tactile qualities to our memories

    my 160

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  6. Wonderfully but sadly whimsical!

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  7. You'll have a good sneeze and get over the whole sad episode!

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  8. At least there is some tarnished hope.

    Nicely wrapped 55

    Moon smiles

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  9. nice..little and beautiful.


    By the way, i have tried to write poem in 14o letters.:


    How wonderful it is;
    When a long forgotten name brings
    a smile,
    On the other wise deserted lips.

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  10. How could such a creative concept not tug at the heart strings of its recipient. Great Sunday 160. Thank you for playing and hope to see you again.

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  11. Beautiful and sad Gautami!
    Pamela

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  12. Very good, should it be "Flea" market though.

    Hey, who let the spelling monkey in? Sorry like I know how to spell!

    It's okay you can slap me up the side of the head.

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  13. I love "flee" market - fits perfectly with the rest of the story... Nice 160!

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  14. A full range of emotions well-expressed.

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  15. Woeful, like word pun (flee) which seems to underscore state of events.

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  16. Like the language of flowers, a victorian whimsy.

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  17. Very emotive Gautami, and I like the word picture you paint. You capture the moment and all those feelings in so little space. Wonderful job,

    Elizabeth

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  18. Thought its sad, its still beautiful to be completed in 160 words. Gr8..:)

    www.sajeevnair.com/blog

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  19. A complete story told so sparely - lovely work!

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  20. Fine blend of feelings and expression

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  21. I like that you include the note of hope, tarnished though it may be.

    Poignant.

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  22. You write about a sad feeling, but I think the creativity powering the thoughts ends on a sign of hope.

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  23. Tami, nothing wrong with this poem Sad can be filled with whimsy too. Great read.


    Melanie

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  24. My great grandmother used to snuff.

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  25. Excellent 160, Gautami!! You say so much with this.

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