slowly you raise both your hands to
my head gently pulling at the pins
your fingers rub into my scalp
raven black silken tresses spill over
hiding both of us from the world
you untangle from it, entangling
me tightly with my own hair
wrapping it around me like your love
I can't move yet I move closer to you
to hide myself from you, in you
if my hair could gossip, believe me
it would have so much to convey
"I know, you know, my disguise is you"
This is an original approach to the prompt. I really enjoyed reading your blog. Lots of good "stuff" here. BJ
ReplyDeleteVery original interpretation to the prompt and a very good piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteI love the urgency and passion in the hair falling everywhere. Well done!
ReplyDelete"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."
ReplyDeleteWow - what a powerful statement!
I agree it is very original!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Billy--the lines about hair are especially well-written. I really enjoyed this poem.
ReplyDeleteVery creative. Gossip is definitely scandalous.
ReplyDeleteThis is so originaland a great read. Well done - again!
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, you've created quite the sensuous feast here! Wonderful!
ReplyDeletewhat a cool piece of verse --- it has such a great flow as i read, and such vivid imagery - i love hiding from you, in you - it has such a powerful resonance inside where i live!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the final line, I talk to myself like that too, sometimes.
ReplyDeleteA safe haven, or a thin veil? We still have our conscience to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI love the passion in this!!
ReplyDeleteif only each strand of hair could gossip....how wonderful would it be to convey the messages across:)
ReplyDeleteThis has comeout so perfect, nice,...Lots of passion
ReplyDeleteI like the sensuality of this, and the way the senses bleed into the emotions.
ReplyDeleteI was engrossed and now I am confused. Not in that "my disguise is you" line, rather about the mechanics and how it all could be acted out. It's the engineer in me.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate I liked it, I still get engrossed each time I read this poem. Perhaps trying to get in on the gossip as well.
..
Your own hair as a disguise, pulling close to hide...these images resonate with me, even though my hair is rather short! I know the experience. Often I close my eyes to hide..
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully done.
Deeply psychological. You're certainly back on form with this.
ReplyDeleteIn this world, love is the best disguise to be adopted!?:)
ReplyDeletevery intimate,, almost erotic.. i liked this very much...
ReplyDeletemakes me long for a disguise.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, and so sensual and intimate I almost feeling like I'm inadvertantly eavesdropping!
ReplyDeleteThis painted wonderful pictures in my mind. Lovely!
ReplyDelete"Look in the mirror describe what you see the face of an angel standing,staring at me."
ReplyDelete"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."
ReplyDeletewowsers. I've played this game...both as the disguise and the disguised...powerful images like a gut punch!
Thanks, Gautami--
Original and sensual. Beautiful.
ReplyDeletethe rhythm of this is lovely!
ReplyDeletemakes me long (for just a second) for the days when my hair was long enough to entangle two lovers. :) Beautiful poem.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gorgeous poem.
ReplyDeleteWhat an original, and very sensual, take on the prompt. Very nicely done Gautami.
ReplyDeleteI really like the line about your hair gossiping. Very beautiful take on the prompts.
ReplyDeletei liked this one Gautami
ReplyDeletewishes
devika
Very Sensual Tami and nice job in combining promts.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! Lovely disguise!
ReplyDeletessst... i want to hear your hair gossiping...
ReplyDelete2 prompts 1 post - sweet!
ReplyDeleteliked the poem as well.
i see this as a very sensual poem with just enough intrigue to make it work... love it
ReplyDeleteI love the idea that hair might gossip. This is a good fun poem.
ReplyDeleteLoved it! Thanks for visiting!
ReplyDelete