Saturday, 2 October 2010

is it a love poetry or missing muse or nothing?

I hunt for it
not finding it anywhere
where are thou muse-
where have you hidden
when I need you the most

randomly distributed
I gather that in my thoughts
rejoicing again
in the word painting
on my palette  of emotions

cracked surface of the earth
laughs at my naïveté
soar is getting sour
curdled milk is better
at least you make cottage cheese

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....5 lines where the middle line acts as a pivot, i.e. it can be read in conjunction with the first two lines, or it can be read as the line that leads into the final two. I have tried to do that in each stanza of this verse. Hope it works!

30 comments:

  1. Very interesting poem. The cottage cheese is quite the surprise ending.

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  2. yes i agree with Teresa. the ending was really rejoicing. hidden muse brought out a lovely verse!

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  3. Liked your palette of emotions, liked even the curdled soar :)

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  4. Well written and very clever, I really liked it!

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  5. Love the words "soar is getting sour"! Your palette of emotions reflects the creative spirit seeking new pastures! beautiful!

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  6. A wonderful piece, with an excellent surprise at the end! =)

    -Weasel

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  7. Clever response to the prompt!
    Pamela

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  8. Interesting pivot effect. I think it worked quite well.

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  9. Loved this style of Haiku with a central pivot line. Very interesting and liked the way it connected. Excellent!!

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  10. This is so cleverly written and I love the way it ended.

    I just watched the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games and thought of you!

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  11. thank you for the intro to pivot poetry... it is a wonderful way of expression reminding me of haiku... each stanza appears separate yet tied intrinsically... glad to have stopped by.. wish

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  12. You have done great with this experimental poem..middle line works so well...ah, doesn't it happens in life too..Thanks Gautami..newer heights in creativity every day..

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  13. yummy treat,
    love the special favors in your work...
    beautiful contribution!

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  14. share 3 poems with us within 60 hours... how cool!
    love to see you in our place.
    stay beautiful all the way.

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  15. simply beautiful play with words! well done!

    Rejoice (Haiku)

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  16. cottage cheese ;)

    nicely done!

    loveNlight
    Gabi

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  17. ha...i really like those last 2 lines...

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  18. From "soar is getting sour" to "... make cottage cheese": really turns the poem.

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  19. Nice touch, cottage cheese. Thinking of writing about the muse myself. Sometimes my brain is curdled too.

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  20. Perfect word-painting. Very nicely done, my friend.
    Victoria

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  21. yes, you write beautiful emotions simply... Liked it.

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  22. Another good one, Gautami. I like "word painting on my palette of emotions", and "cracked surface of the earth laughs at my naivete". Wonderful lines that lead to "cottage cheese." That's something I can certainly relate to. Thanks again,

    Elizabeth

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  23. Love the way you turn words back onthenselves. Clever.

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  24. support us by visiting a few poets near your entry.
    thanks for the contribution…

    here is one of mine:
    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/04/what-can-you-see/

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  25. I enjoyed the pivot points; I felt the poem moving and changing direction. Beautiful as always, Gautami!

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