Saturday, 16 October 2010

sombre sobriquets

I pick that piece of paper
smooth it over my thighs
my palms leave sweaty marks
smudging the words
I shift the superfluous sentences
a semblance of sombre sobriquets jumps 
out. as I reach out to strike out more
I hear a voice say out of nowhere-

"don't cut it slack for slickness and sleekness"

I pause. the paper tears,
I watch the words fly away
they will gather from the clouds
hoard it all for me
they are champions
for my impatience.
if there's one thing I have learned

"sleekness with slickness can't let to be slack"

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I credit the sentence don't cut me slack for my slickness and sleekness to, well, he knows who! I simply edited it a bit. 

34 comments:

  1. clever paly on words. like the way you spin them like a slack sleek vortex

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  2. can't spell play...ah well..one thing I've learned is that I don't edit very good.

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  3. Very abstract --- I have read a lot of your pieces about writing ...

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  4. Love this dramatic enactment of word play!

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  5. What wonderful imagery! I love where this took me.

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  6. Wow! Slick, Sleek and slack
    With words, you have a knack

    Well done, as usual..

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  7. "Champions for my impatience" I like that! Thank you!

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  8. Your alliteration presents a challenge to read the poem aloud. Well done.

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  9. How very impressive words. Made me think way after midnight. Please have a good new week.

    daily athens

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  10. A clever post! Awesome work! =)

    -Weasel

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  11. A remarkable, powerful interaction with text. What words can do. Powerful stuff, friend.

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  12. Love the alliteration! Very nicely done.

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  13. A fun poem with the alliteration, but it seems very serious at the same time. Good job!

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  14. A lovely poem about writing, I could both see and feel the moment and really like "I watch the words fly away they will gather from the clouds
    hoard it all for me"
    Beautiful :)

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  15. My favorite lines:

    'smooth it over my thighs
    my palms leave sweaty marks
    smudging the words'

    Really enjoyed where you took the prompt.

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  16. Title says it all. Wonderfully poetic phrase there. Enjoyed this a lot actually. Good job.

    Regards

    Luke @ WordSalad


    http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/abscond/
    http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/communication/
    http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/257/

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  17. This reads aloud so well. Nicely done.
    Victoria

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  18. ah yes, you 've captured the
    joy of writing.

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  19. Succinct and so well expressed...loved the read. Thanks so much xx

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  20. Gautami I love the imagery in this.
    Pamela

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  21. Good play with words...loved reading it... :)

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  22. thanks for the chuckle, your play with words tricked my mind and i had to laugh. Fun piece.

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  23. Nice! I love alliteration and the imagery in your poem~

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  24. Choicest words at play! Good going Gautami.

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  25. Lovely and creative. I like the images you conjure here. I enjoyed your take!

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  26. Slick, slack, sleek... I'm your poetry SLAVE, because your words are a salve...

    OK, now saliva is starting, LOL.

    Really love the way you have with words, G. Peace, Amy

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  27. plenty of fun with words. Interesting.

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  28. http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/thursday-poets-rally-week-31-october-21-27/
    I invite you to attend Thursday Poets Rally week 31 hosted by Jingle!
    sign in, link in a poem, visit and comment for 18 poets,
    let me know when you are ready.
    Thanks a lot.

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  29. "the paper tears,
    I watch the words fly away" - I can picture these words in flight!

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  30. I just love the idea of clouds hoarding up thoughts! As usual brilliant.

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