Saturday 30 August 2008

hurtled against the edge of eon

Today I offer two verses for spectacle on OSI, in opposite voices. Do let me know what you think of either. The title works for both, I think.

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my heart and soul……………..

lost in the ocean of love for you
everlastingly plummeting deeper
hurtled against the edge of eon
suffused by your
incessant understanding-
fervently hoping
I don't make a spectacle of myself
when I finally give in to it

"yet I wait to unite with you
mindlessly………"

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she fell on ground
unmindful he trod on her
spectacle, she or he?

26 comments:

  1. ..thank u for the prompt,the nice love poem and the probing question (in the shorter poem)..

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  2. First, Thank you for this weeks prompt. I liked both verses very much-excellent work.

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  3. i especially like the 2nd haiku. i love the ambiguity and multiple meanings there. :)

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  4. I like the first part best well done!

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  5. They are both so different! I enjoyed them both, but especially the second. Thanks for these.

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  6. You are so creative--I love the title and at first was drawn to your first poem, then I reread the Haiku and found that the question at the end so fitting.

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  7. You are always keeping people on their toes and questioning things even what you write.
    Excellent work!

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  8. I like this prompt, so much to do with it.

    Both are good, but second is my fovorite.

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  9. That is a love like no other. It is overwhelming and powerful.

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  10. Such love is wonderful and rare.

    Thanks for this prompt and both poems this week!

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  11. Great prompt and excellent work here Gautami. I like the first one best; very soulful and stirring.

    www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

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  12. A pair of spectacular poems there.

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  13. There's so much explosive tension and passion in the first, and a sly subtlety in the second - great work!

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  14. You always write with such deep passion. I love that. Good prompt and two very different and well done poems.

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  15. Thank you for this wonderful prompt. I have been reading more than writing so far (I did finish my little tale), they are all so good.
    I'll take your first poem, I like the mushy ones. I wish I could write them.
    ..

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  16. I love your haiku, it is so evocative (and powerful). Excellent prompt also - very versatile - for which I thank you.

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  17. both voices say volmes about many a relationship...

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  18. 'A spectacle, he or '... One often wonders, guess it depends on the crowd

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  19. My word Tami, you can write such beautiful love poems. I think you must be in love....
    Both verses are wonderful and you have come so very far in your writing. I remember the P.T. days. when I felt your verse was so tight. Now you have blossomed into a true poet but then you do not need to be told that. Well done my friend.

    love-Melanie

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  20. It is SO romantic and beautiful!!! I love the meaning of those words.

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  21. Thanks for the prompt! You did your usual fine work with these pieces.

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  22. Your prompt was a wonderful suggestion. I do so like the second one.

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  23. romantic...i feel/fell for it ..........

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  24. thank you for a terrific prompt this week! your poems on opposite ends of the spectrum give one pause to consider...

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  25. Thank you for the post. It was a fun one to write.

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  26. Passion and fire in the first. The second? I think both is the answer.

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