Saturday 11 August 2007

Coping Mechanism-----Sunday Scribblings

Sunday Scribbling has got Goosebumps this week.

Goosebumps are body’s reflexes. We have no control over those. Listening to certain kind of music or just about something that jolts us. Passion too gives rises to those. Scary situations do bring about Goosebumps.


I have always taken these as signals of the body, which prepare the mind to cope. We can call those as cope up mechanism. When my dad slipped and fell down, his hipbone was fractured. He had to be operated upon but he never recovered from that. He fell unconscious and never regained consciousness. When he passed away, and I was informed about it, my mind went blank. I kept staring at the goose bumps formed on my arms and remember asking my brother why that happened and what was wrong. With no further thoughts, I went about the business of getting our dad home before the cremation. I cannot explain but that state of mindlessness helped me cope with the immediate grief. I still grieve for him but time has healed that to some extent. Five years gone but it seems like yesterday.

i stare at nothing
grieving for you.
goose pimples appear
out of nowhere.

I am happy enough for now as my dad would have wanted me to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get more goose bumps......

57 comments:

  1. "life is very short... and there is no time for fussing and fighting my friend"

    I'm so sorry to read about your experience.

    My Dad is in the hospital right now, and I'm surely going to be dealing with similar issues very shortly.

    Your words touched me.

    Michele sent me your way tonight.

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  2. Hi gautami, your simple and moving poem gave me goosebumps...

    Michele sent me to say hi, gautami :-)

    cq

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  3. Tanya; I pray for your dad.
    You will cope.

    cq: thanks. I miss him.

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  4. You had a fine poem, Guatami. Your blog is always a good one to read.

    Michele sent me this way.

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  5. gautami,
    for me, it has been nearly 15 years since I lost my 'old man', my dad. Still to this day, I miss him...

    Here from Michele's this evening...

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  6. Beautiful post. It's amazing how we move into action mode when we need to, even in the most trying of situations. Your poem is beautiful.

    Glad michele sent me here today.

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  7. Gautami my friend, I hear your grief and mourn with you.

    All my best for you and your family.

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  8. A beautiful tribute Gautami. I hope your dad knows somewhere how much you love him.

    Rose

    xo

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  9. you are sensitive person ...you are alive in soul and body!

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  10. Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this personal look into your life. Losing someone we love releases such a cornucopia of emotions. They sustain and evolve as time passes.

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  11. Sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 23 years ago. I was still a child and had no conception of mortality at such a young age. I don't remember if I felt goosebumps. The feeling was more of a numbness and haze from the head down that slowly lifted over time, though I still can remember sitting on the bottom steps on the stairwell unable to move for what seemed like hours. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him. It does get easier over time, but the sense of loss never goes away.

    Your poem is very beautiful. It moved me.

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  12. Oh, such a sad way to lose your dear dad... I am so sorry, Gautami. I know how you feel...
    xo

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  13. I am so sorry to hear about your dad and yes I believe that goosebumps are a way for our body to tell us something that is more subconscious. I will send a prayer for you and your family.

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  14. the 9th anniversary of my dad's death is 10 days away so this is especially poignant to me. thank you for sharing and for visiting.

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  15. I wonder about the air on earth today. I wrote something about my Dad today as well and my ability to remember it.

    While the whole thing is painful, I think there's something positive to say about such memories. They remain vivid because they are deeply important. Having something that deeply important is so much better than not.

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  16. Hi gautami, thanks for sharing, your honesty has a touch for healing. A big hug, take care!

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  17. It made me cry reading about your Dad...It reminds me about the death of my Dad...Now matter how long it is its still aches..now is lesser

    Can we say we have gone over it ???

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  18. i stare at nothing
    grieving for you.
    goose pimples appear
    out of nowhere.

    This is so powerful...your mind shut down to cope, but your body was still feeling everything. You said so much with just a few words.

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  19. thank you for sharing this beautiful little poem, these thoughts...

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  20. reading this actually gave me goosebumps.
    beautifully rendered, gautami.

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  21. goosebumps when time stood still for you....your description allowed me to feel like i was there with you.

    very moving gautami.....and the goosebumps will be a signal for you that perhaps he is looking down at your beautiful face.

    take care.

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  22. so sorry for your loss Gautami. I lost my dad when I was 3, thinking of him still gives me chills.
    You're right that your dad would want you to be happy. Hope that you are :)

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  23. Greetings Gautami,

    Here by way of Michele tonight.

    It's good to know you've found peace in your dad's memory.

    Peace and blessings,
    Enid

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  24. My father died in 1996. I think the goosebumps came when my mother called me to say he only had a month to live. I left my job and came home. I did everything in my power to keep my mind awake as he died, to experience every aspect of his dying he could so I could, with others, help him die. I was a part of everything as he died right up to when the funeral director put him in a body bag in our house. I wonder if those goosebumps did help me cope and strengthened my will so that I could do what I felt needed to be done. The funeral ended with the whole congregation singing "God Bless America", his favorite patriotic song. I have goosebumps now remembering the thundering sound of his many friends singing, a volunteer choir.

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  25. Gautami, Thank you for the nice comment you left on my blog after Michele sent you to say hello.

    Ironic, isn't it, that my post was a tribute to my dad, and your post a tribute to your dad. Best regards.

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  26. Interesting story and a nice poem. Here, in the southern U.S., we say that when you have goose bumps, someone has walked over your grave. :)

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  27. Goosebumps, the hair standing up on the back of your neck? There is no rhyme nor reason why it happens.

    "i stare at nothing
    grieving for you.
    goose pimples appear
    out of nowhere."

    Very profound.

    My dad passed 2/7/91, I still grieve.

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  28. We all have different ways of coping with grief. When my father died I was cocooned by the need to watch over my mother - moment by moment. When my mother died...that's a different story. Thank you Gautami for an interesting post. I'm here all the way from UK via Michele's. BTW I love your photo.

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  29. You post touched me. I never thought of how the goosebumps would go hand in hand with the mindlessness or the lack of thought, just robotic movements of such trauma. I'm glad you ended on a happy note, that your happy cuz that's what your dad would want. That's a beautiful thought.

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  30. I was moved by your post. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    And I loved your poem.

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  31. I was here yesterday, Definately worthy of another visit.

    Michele sent me.

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  32. Hi Gautami. Sorry to read of your father's passing. I like the new look of Firmly Rooted. Here are my thoughts on the subject of goosebumps.

    Goosebumps, I've been told;
    are common with mammals.
    Though I prefer the books;
    to learning the piano.

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  33. G,

    thanks for sharing such a personal experience.
    i too lost my dad, and had eventually to stop asking "why". Perhaps the goose bumps are a reminder of the cyclical gifts of being gifted with life.

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  34. An inspiring post, as always...

    Michele sent me your way.

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  35. I had never thought about goosebumps in that way. I'm so sorry for your loss. We too suffered too losses this year - our oldest son who was developmentally disabled and my husband's father. It's been a sad year, but we need to find happier reasons to have goosebumps!

    Michele sent me here today and I'm very glad. Hope you're having a nice day. Hello from Wisconsin!

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  36. Very moving. You are a very perceptive writer.

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  37. Thanks for sharing this very personal moment. Interesting how are mind and body provide us with coping mechanisms to get through these moments which may be impossible to survive otherwise.

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  38. Thanks for sharing your personal experience of your father passing, I'm so sorry for your loss. I entered a similar state of "mindlessness" when my brother was killed and it helped get me through those first few days.

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  39. This is my third visit, Guatami. Michele must like sending me here.

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  40. Thanks for the note you left on my blog. This entry was wonderful.

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  41. Memories of loved ones are always precious. Thanks for sharing this.

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  42. Our stoneage brains still operate on the fight or flight system and horripilation or piloerection, remains a visible, involuntary, reaction to our immediate predicament whether it is real or imagined.

    I miss my Dad every day, even 27 years later. His passing remains the defining moment and central issue in formulating my cosmology.

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  43. I firmly believe that the conscious mind does sometimes get in the way of what the rest of us knows. There is no reason the goosebumps or sudden tears are not, indeed, signals.

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  44. I'm so sorry you never got to say goodbye Gautami. I lost my mom suddenly too but you are so right about them wanting us to be happy.

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  45. goosebumps ... triggered when we fear ... perhaps even intuition.
    Inner teaching. Hugs for you.

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  46. Sorry for your loss. That must have been rough. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Michele didn't send me - don't even know who Michele is... :)

    I sent me. I come every week to enjoyr your Scribbling.
    Don

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  47. Amazing how body and soul can cope and respond. Peace, JP

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  48. "feels like yesterday"
    I understand that. I, too, lost my father within the past few years.
    I'm saddened to read of your loss. That must have been so hard, from a mishap to him suddenly gone. :( I got goosebumps reading your post.
    Sending big hugs across the miles

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  49. Our bodies protect us, don't they? Thank goodness. What a beautiful poem, gautami!

    Thank you for visiting me from Michele's the other day... I appreciated your visit & comment.

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  50. I came by a couple of days ago and was so moved... my father died almost two years ago, but I didn't want to mention it when I first read this as you were talking about your loss and your grief.

    I now see so many others have mentioned their losses too.

    All very sad

    Ann

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