Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Why have I started thinking of it again?
I thought I had left all that behind.
Why has it come back?
Subconsciously I fear it.
Yet I am fascinated by it.
It feels so familiar.
Like my best friend.
Who knows me the way I do not even know myself.
I thought I was well past that illogical thought.
Will I get over it again?
Will I push it aside?
Into that unseen corridor of my psyche?
Where it will linger for some time to come.
Give in to it?
With a vengeance yet subtle?
I watch it with enthralling revulsion.
Where the mind covets and yet repels.
Why do I fight?
Why don’t I give in?
So easy to do that.
What holds me back?
Isn’t it better to finish with that than face it again and again?
May be it is I.
It must be that.
I cannot take the painless way out.
I have to traverse the most difficult of path.
Where there is stimulation, adventure and challenge.
Do not come back.
I will not embrace you now.
Come later when it is inevitable.
For now, I have to live.
Let me wake up...
Until inevitability, goodbye death..