Friday, 2 June 2006

Compulsive need for attention

This has been in my mind for sometime now, to be precise, some months now. It involves most of us in our present life style.

The big question is: have we really become so depraved that we are almost always seeking attention to ourselves?

Why the need to be always in the move? To be seen at the right place, at the right time. To be part of every slice of life that one can get? It might not even interest us but still we want to be seen there. We want to be in the midst of a huge crowd, have a long list of so called friends without any deep friendships. Live one day at a time. Come from one party, mixer or whatever it is called now, and get ready for the next. What is it that drives people for these meets? Why is this constant need to be in the move, to be thought of a nice sociable person, to be liked by all?

Most people I see around me are so busy doing all these and more that they have forgotten to enjoy their own company, to quietly enjoy a book, to listen to music in solitude.

Are we afraid of solitude? Do we fear ourselves/our own company? More precisely, is it lack of self-confidence? Why does one feels so compelled to seek out company? What are we afraid of?

When I refuse to tow the line, I am thought of as someone gone bonkers. What’s wrong with enjoying my own company? I can’t go out each single day. I don’t even want to. I need time for myself; I need to be with myself at times. Why do I have to be part of the crowd? What’s wrong with being oneself? Why do we avoid ourselves? That’s how I see it, avoiding ones own company

If we have to be on constant move than why not do something worthwhile for the society? Why not give back something to this world?

To get answer to all these questions, I feel it's time to sit down and think; time for introspection for all of us.


  1. I like your new color scheme gautami. Light green and blue on white works well and reflects good on you.

    I think the answer to your question is "cultural narcissism" and "mass infantilization." I have had lots of time in solitude to think about these very questions, which brought me to my study of consciousness.

    Now that I've had enough of this solitude, I asked myself what I could do for others and that is when I found the idea that to inspire others is one thing we can do, which is why i started to write.

    But now that i feeling a little bit less fragmented, i still feel i need to find the other. maybe it's just because that's who i am.


  2. 'alo Gautami. It wasn't my thought upon deciding to post a comment, but upon reading anonymous jeff's comments I think there may be something to his answer.

    "Cultural narcissism" and "Mass infantilization"? Perhaps. It might even be a more evolved take on what I was thinking when I first thought to comment to your post.

    "Have we really become so depraved that we are almost always seeking attention to ourselves?"

    This need to seek ourselves in the company of others - to the extent that we keep busy with towing the line - really is a fear of being crazy.

    Not going crazy. Going mad.

    A fear of BEING crazy. Being in your moment ... your very-own-God-given-skin-lived-in moment ... of crazy. No matter how short, or long that moment is.

    Be crazy. Not drunken crazy. But genius crazy. The kind of genius crazy that doesn't look to see which way the fish are schooling but just dives in confident with the knowledge that you can and will surface.

    Be that crazy and you burn yourself with the sear of disapproving looks. There isn't water enough to douse those flames.

  3. Its the same colour scheme Jeff, only thing I had a picture of beach as my background. There was some problem, I had to change my template and lost a lot of my data.

    You may be right about that. "Cultural narcissism" and "mass infantilization" are here to stay. They are in their nascent form. What I want to know is why who do not want this kind of attention are made out to be freakks?

    Who is the freak? Just becos the majority does it, does that mean, the lone fish is on? I do not think so. Why should I?

    I will only do what I feel is right. For now being with myself is very important for me.

  4. Thanks lady wordsmith,

    I will be crazy, even if there is not enough water to douse it. If being with myself is crazy, I will thrive in it.

    No towing the line for me

  5. Gautami...thank you for saying what all of us see in ourselves and do often are unwilling to listen to.

  6. Yes don, I too just about prevented myself from falling in the same trap!