dead woman waits for a word, a word that comes from him
it can be any anything but it will make her alive
being dead is so liberating, she can go anywhere
but she stops short of going to him, waiting for a sign, a signal
stillness of her dead circumstances shows her new heights
certain heights she can climb by herself, but for some she needs him
in the corner of death, she turns around, walks in circles
circles don't really take her back to the same place, she finds the tangents too
she jingles her bangles, loves the sound, but prefers him tangling with her
dead, she can't see her feet, she can see his, and thinks of those as her own
"if only she could embrace what he possesses, and knows he is aware of that"
'stillness of her dead circumstances shows her new heights'
ReplyDeleteI think the above line of this beautiful poem should inspire many.. A poem I read again and again..like the one earlier of a dead man.. Thanks Gautami..
Gautami,
ReplyDeleteYou strike well, again. At first, I wanted to read this as a woman waiting notice by a certain man. Then I got drawn into reading this as a woman entranced, if not trapped, by a man.
That latter psychology is uncomfortable, but less common pronounced this way, and more subtle.
The "bangles" might be chains.
The way you express your work resonates with me.
Trulyfool
Lovely poem with these lines as the highlight
ReplyDelete"her dead circumstances shows her new heights certain heights she can climb by herself"
but reaching the end I felt she was trapped, would be nice if she broke the shackles and was born free again!!
Very profound feelings of disquiet running as an undercurrent!!
LOVED this.
ReplyDeleteThe disturbing poignancy of waiting, even in death, is just sublime.
Thanks for taking up the prompt. :)
Trulyfool, there is nothing morbid or negative in this poem. Entranced is right, trapped is not.
ReplyDeleteBangles for a Hindu, are not chains but the jingling sounds those make are kind of joyous.
Nanka, there is nothing disquiet about it. Don't base your opinions on what trulyfool wrote.
To set the record straight for all, I did not write a disturbing poem. Sublime. yes. And I would prefer that it be read again to understand the underlying emotions, which are rather positive than negative.
Wonderful and so richly described, I loved it.
ReplyDeleteImpressed and loved it
ReplyDeleteThat´s beautiful!
ReplyDeleteGautami - your pieces just get richer and richer and all the more enagaging..Jae
ReplyDelete"in the corner of death, she turns around" I love this line!
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't get a feeling of her being trapped, at all. I felt like she really came to know her own limitations and needs and that gave her strength.
Thanks for making us all think this morning!
gautami this was so beautiful...death can be liberating..
ReplyDeleteGreat images! As someone else said, rich.
ReplyDeleteso many lovely sounds. I really enjoyed this, regardless of the disturbing undercurrents.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I love the image of her walking circles in the corner of death. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteHere's my Sunday Scribbling:
December
(This is my first attempt to link to my page from a comment...I hope it works!)
Gautami, thanks for your visit to my page.. and appreciating the 'dancing verses'.. trust me, I didn't know it..and to be truthful..had never read poetry other then text books till 10th Std.
ReplyDeleteAnd coming here again didn't expect to see your clarification on your wonderful poem..I mean never saw something like this in last about an year..since I started reading you..
I feel sorry for the dead woman and her indifferent man and I don't even know her.
ReplyDeleteI found this haunting, in a good way. I particularly like the phrase 'dead woman waits patiently'
ReplyDeleteI love many of the lines; some really strong images.
ReplyDeleteyou bring this dead woman to life. bravo, JP/deb
ReplyDeleteJust landed on the blog while browsing. And I must say it is awesome :)
ReplyDeleteLovely work Gautami. Though maths and poetry do not sound the best combination but the poetry is perfect!!
http://meet-nidhi.blogspot.com/
It's a good life!
ReplyDeletefor Old Grizz this is curiously strange and strangely curious. It grabbed my mind and doused it with coffee. woke me up and made me think...I like that.
ReplyDeletevery disturbing, yet you capture the read, to carry on..and that is what writing is all about
ReplyDeleteGautami, everytime I visit, your verses disturb, provoke, and stimulate. I always want to know the underlying event, the unspoken story. This one is no different. I've come to expect this of your work and you did not disappoint today.
ReplyDeleteAnnie
What a ghost! What a haunting. Amazing poem.
ReplyDeleteGautami, expressed differently sending subconscious messages as well as livid ones...
ReplyDeleteI think this is my favourite of the series so far.
ReplyDeleteI can see/hear how your voice is different with this exercise. I sense the zen! :-)
there's nothign like a good writing ritual to pull us out of a stuck.