I love something about the "on my way home" part. As in, "On my way home, I'll pick up some bread for toast in the morning." "On my way home, I'll fill the gas tank." "On my way home, I will steal the kids."
Dark and intriguing. This left me wondering if the narrator was speaking with intent or just out of drunken illogic, soon forgotten. I guess I won't get to find out.
Well, G'tami, I appear to be in the minority with this. I don't feel the darkness. In fact, this is more celebratory to me. The infection of the evening drawing us away from the practicality of our daily struggles in search of some respite. I find nothing scary in Piscean indulgence and mingling on the dance floor. I rather enjoyed that!
I tried to see this the way Michael saw it.. after all I love to see the positive in things.. BUT 'flitting from body to body seeking oblivion' I only see darkness there and the imagery of a beautiful high heeled woman consumed with pain. I imagined a very long tale in a few perfectly chosen words.
dark...painful and excrucifying..
ReplyDeleteVery dark. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteyou call mine scary?
ReplyDeletethis is scrayyy!!!
i shuddered!
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Yikes! Something to be said about heels :).
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better.
"I pirouette
ReplyDeleteaway my sorrows"
Awesome line!
You paint quite a picture here! I love it even though it makes me sad.
Interesting, but I'm still pondering the last line.
ReplyDeleteWow, G, this really is most powerful. It does paint a picture, but it sets a mood, too.
ReplyDeleteThe Path
Love how it builds up to the end--and very dark
ReplyDeleteDark and yet wonderful! I like how it builds. :)
ReplyDeleteLeave 'em wanting more. Good call on ending this in such a mysterious fashion.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
So there! Showing your stuff - I don't get the part about the kids, though...hmmm. Nice work! Hope you're feeling well.
ReplyDeleteexcellent...
ReplyDeleteThe end left me hanging - seeking for maybe something more?
ReplyDeleteAwesome... like others say, dark, but still great!
I love something about the "on my way home" part. As in, "On my way home, I'll pick up some bread for toast in the morning." "On my way home, I'll fill the gas tank." "On my way home, I will steal the kids."
ReplyDeleteUh huh.
Dark and intriguing. This left me wondering if the narrator was speaking with intent or just out of drunken illogic, soon forgotten. I guess I won't get to find out.
ReplyDeleteDark, dark!!Very good one
ReplyDeleteDrink to forget - and remember!
ReplyDeleteWell, G'tami, I appear to be in the minority with this. I don't feel the darkness. In fact, this is more celebratory to me. The infection of the evening drawing us away from the practicality of our daily struggles in search of some respite. I find nothing scary in Piscean indulgence and mingling on the dance floor. I rather enjoyed that!
ReplyDeleteI tried to see this the way Michael saw it.. after all I love to see the positive in things.. BUT 'flitting from body to body seeking oblivion' I only see darkness there and the imagery of a beautiful high heeled woman consumed with pain.
ReplyDeleteI imagined a very long tale in a few perfectly chosen words.
Dark and ghostly..
ReplyDeleteI see someone who's lost, trying to escape life's hurt and the solution not necessarily the one which will bring salvation. Well written.
ReplyDelete