Tuesday, 7 July 2009

abstracting

random papers
a few torn haphazardly
some cut precisely to size

lay jumbled on the floor
my nimble fingers trying
to bring some kind of order

that thimble-sized man
jumped into that disorder
moonwalked all over it

eyes fixed on its movements
I watched the fireworks
with a sense of wonder

patterns fell into place
with such grace and fluidity
papered into so much beauty

when he disappeared again
into my deep thoughts
I knew it was all unreal

"reality is creativity that comes from deep trance"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lately I am trying for abstract poetry. I don't know if I am succeeding or not. Feedback is welcome.
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17 comments:

  1. Michelle Johnson7 July 2009 at 11:25

    I think this is a nice attempt at abstract poetry. Then you've always been a really good writer. Have a great day.

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  2. sarah haliwell7 July 2009 at 13:39

    I agree with Michelle :-)

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  3. Irene Toh9 July 2009 at 06:05

    I find your poem visual like a hallucination.

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  4. anthonynorth9 July 2009 at 06:55

    That last line is suburb.

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  5. Lawrence Gladeview9 July 2009 at 07:15

    this is very whimsical in nature, a refreshing break from the ordinary. such well placed words and language makes this jump off the page and grab the reader to the cutting room floor. -lawrence

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  6. Texas2Tennessee9 July 2009 at 07:34

    I love the unspoken futility of order, the constancy of chaos in this poem. Nicely done.

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  7. strattonm9 July 2009 at 08:46

    I've often felt the same way...

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  8. Linda Jacobs9 July 2009 at 09:13

    Yes, the papers and the thoughts all mixed up and the moonwalking! Love it!

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  9. Tumblewords:9 July 2009 at 16:19

    Abstracting works well for you - this piece takes me on a wonderful journey -

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  10. Andy Sewina9 July 2009 at 16:53

    Maybe we are who we think we are, 'til we wake up!
    <3

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  11. Jeeves9 July 2009 at 21:21

    Your abstract poetry is a wonderful read.

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  12. Raven's Wing Poetry10 July 2009 at 12:41

    This I would compare to an acid trip in words. And I love your use of "moonwalking" - apropos considering the times.

    - Nicole

    Mutiny in Six Parts

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  13. Linda - Nickers and Ink10 July 2009 at 19:15

    Timely and timeless.

    (In a strange way, we will all miss him.)

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  14. Felicity10 July 2009 at 19:22

    I love the images you've built up with this poem. :)

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  15. Erin Davis11 July 2009 at 09:40

    I think that your abstracting attempts are working really well. This is a really compelling picture of the creative impulse/inspiration.

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  16. angie13 July 2009 at 19:38

    wonderful! it flows so well...

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  17. Nathan14 July 2009 at 13:06

    I like the way "moonwalk" and "movement" sound together. There's also a lot of vivid imagery here.

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