Thursday, 16 July 2009

acuity of touch

hearts slump against each other
lost in the seance of love
flaming sky loiters towards them
sanguine espression dissolves
ACUITY OF TOUCH
dissolved sanguinity
flames the loitering sky
love for lost seance
breaks slumped hearts

"crying against that fur is so comforting"
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23 comments:

  1. Janet Jarrell16 July 2009 at 06:10

    Gorgeous use of language. I am glad I stumbled upon your blog - off to read more!

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  2. Michelle Johnson16 July 2009 at 06:31

    You've executed this naisaiku well. I love the line love for lost seance. Hope all is well your way. Have a great day.

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  3. angie16 July 2009 at 07:23

    wow--this a beautiful. lovely sounds.

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  4. andy16 July 2009 at 08:03

    Yeah I like the way this sounds too!

    Thanks for posting to The NaiSaiKu Challenge?

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  5. Tumblewords:16 July 2009 at 10:47

    Reads so well!

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  6. Lawrence Gladeview16 July 2009 at 12:18

    gautami you are the first of the poems i have read today to use one of the word prompts in the title itself, well done! the format and style works great, love the transition with the title itself serving as the median. (and thanks for the help with the word verification glitch) enjoyed.
    -lawrence

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  7. Dave16 July 2009 at 14:01

    "hearts slump against each other" - beautiful sentiment and wonderful lead for this poem.

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  8. sarah haliwell16 July 2009 at 14:04

    Absolutely gorgeous, one of your best.

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  9. Stan Ski16 July 2009 at 15:55

    Trying to rediscover lost love? It was always better the first time around...

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  10. Irene Toh16 July 2009 at 16:41

    Inspired use of the words..full of acuity

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  11. Erin Davis16 July 2009 at 18:42

    You did such a great job with these words!

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  12. Julie Jordan Scott17 July 2009 at 00:28

    ahhh, loved this. Especially SANGUINE. (I read your poem and realized I left Sanguine OUT of my poem, completely.)

    Enjoyed the rhythm and pacing as well.

    Thank you!

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  13. anthonynorth17 July 2009 at 02:24

    Beautiful words.

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  14. Linda Jacobs17 July 2009 at 04:16

    Masterfully done!

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  15. Lorraine17 July 2009 at 05:11

    the fur cried too...seems oh so appropriate.. very interesting reading ;)

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  16. Nathan17 July 2009 at 09:42

    I really like that last line. Well done.

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  17. Mark17 July 2009 at 10:04

    the words just roll...

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  18. Jeeves18 July 2009 at 01:11

    Wow!!!You surprise me everytime. Lovely

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  19. Whitesnake18 July 2009 at 03:14

    there are more simpler words you could use........

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  20. Wayne Pitchko18 July 2009 at 09:39

    great use of words....again....especially "acuity of touch".....somehow I used also

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  21. Lyrically speaking18 July 2009 at 10:02

    Crying against that fur is comforting...

    I love those linies, nicely done

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  22. Jane Doe18 July 2009 at 19:20

    Absolutely wonderful. Once again you have shown phenomenal skill in creating breathtaking poetry.

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  23. Kristen19 July 2009 at 14:06

    Absolutely beautiful. I love how the words all come back on each other. Skillfully & wonderfully done.

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