whispers filled my ears
permeating into each of my pores
drenching me
with the essentiality of you
with my eyes shut
I took in the moment
letting my fingers read you
pausing at the difficult words
imprinted on your skin
when my senses forgot me
I lost it all gaining into you
you dissolved into nothing
leaving me with my whispers
"still I search for you
with violent desperation"
Well expressed. Enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much emotion in this, everything from gentleness to "violent desperation" - beautifully intense!
ReplyDeleteintense emotion..wapped up in the words "violent desperation"..there is a sadness to it
ReplyDeleteWow, Gautami!
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty passionate and full of feeling! Lovely. That's what makes the world go round.
it has been forever, but your link has always been active on my site. This topic looked interesting and wow, the poetry has evovled. Nothing like a year ago. You should almost just pick one at random and compare. I finally picked up a pen again and I can't stop, but I will always write my way. You obviously have many many facets. Excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteExcellent poem . Tum kaise ho?
ReplyDeleteRings true for me.
ReplyDeleteHow about 'careless whispers'?
"I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given.
So I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you.
Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend.
To the heart and mind ignorance is kind.
There's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find.
I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm"
George Michael @ WHAM
Nice poem.:)
ReplyDeleteDeeply felt. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThis was utterly perfect for my mood today!
ReplyDeleteWow Gautami, That's passion like it's going outta fasion!
ReplyDeleteNice work!! I like the way you started with whispers and ended there, as well. The quote at the end tells so much.
ReplyDelete"the essentiality of you" was a great line!
ReplyDeleteOh, I loved the last line- it encapsules the rest of the poem so well...
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Gautami!
"whispers filled my ears
ReplyDeletepermeating into each of my pores
drenching me
with the essentiality of you"
Wow, oh, wow! "essentiality" just blew me away!
My favorite lines:
ReplyDelete"letting my fingers read you
pausing at the difficult words"
Beautiful!
you asked me to stay strong, no fear and jst move on. Im going to stay the same, with a shoulder to cry. :) hugs.
ReplyDeletewhispers - I love that thought
ReplyDeleteWhat a dream!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your read Thank you.
This is so tangible, so sensuous...then it's gone. This is such a powerful feeling you've captured.
ReplyDelete"pausing at the difficult words
ReplyDeleteimprinted on your skin"
This image is lovely and intimate. Reminds me of tracing letters on someone's back and making them guess what the word is.
A longing for sensual love, communicated with strong feeling!
ReplyDeleteThis is stunning. Loved it.
ReplyDelete'Difficult words' printed on evertone's skin - we usually ignore them and concentrate on the easy ones.
ReplyDeleteMakes one think!
ReplyDeletea lot of passion and emotion here. like it
ReplyDeleteviolent desperation - painfully familiar though distant now with time.
ReplyDeleteThat is intense still I search for you with violent desperation.
ReplyDeletewow. :)