Photo by idigit teddy
artwork Natural Sculpture
from Flickr
originally uploaded here
Attempting Erotica...*grin*
autumn nights
desiring of heating up
another body
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bathed in cool heat
breathless, hair a mess
autumn feels like sex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
writhing bodies
tangled sheets
storm unleashed
Hi Gautami, sounds like you fulfilled your objective from my viewpoint. Of course I'm not a critic or even a poet for that matter.
ReplyDeleteYou've heard the old saying, "you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear." That fits me in the poetry world but I have fun when I can find some mud to root in. I liked today's muddy autumn a whole lot.
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You work up to your topic - the third one is the best of the three. Allusion is better than description.
ReplyDeleteYou have instilled a lot of energy in Autumn!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this.
Unusual, but Autumn is a major part of Earth's fertility so this is fully appropriate.
ReplyDeleteWow! A good one. Write more.:)
ReplyDeleteI do favor the third one. It hints better at the topic and it's rhythmically more balanced.
ReplyDeleteit is a good one!
ReplyDeleteLove that third stanza! It is like an imaginary, erotic painting!
ReplyDeleteAn excellent job here. I particularly like the second one.
ReplyDeleteYou raised the intensity in each successive stanza. Being that Autumn is my favorite season, my favorite is the second.
ReplyDeletenice one...I mean three...precise...
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Gautami. That picture fits very well with your poems. And, I love the way you introduced autumn through erotic poetry. The second/ third stanzas are my favorite. Nice job. Have a nice day.
ReplyDeleteThese give a whole other (robust) context to autumn!! Would love to know more about the original of the photo, too. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI like the last one best, too.
ReplyDeleteIs that tree for real or photoshopped??
u did it well, very well :)
ReplyDeleteAmazing photo. I think the third poem is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteWOW! The photo is amazing and the poetry too!
ReplyDeleteIncredible, Gautami! Great verse, great composition, great words, "unleashing a storm."
ReplyDeleteAnd where'd you find that pic to illustrate it?
Excellent stuff. You da girl!
Oow... Tami, I think your poem is still steaming. Love it. Gosh how far we have come.
ReplyDeleteExcellent my friend. The photo is great!
love,Melanie
a couple of gr8 lines to match an awesome snap..cheers!
ReplyDeleteOh, indeed! I love the chaos of autumn. And the passion.
ReplyDeleteYour third poem is very successful. I could feel the electrical charge in the atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteautumn heat ...oh yeah...clean
ReplyDeleteand sexy.
I don't believe I'm going to say this, but erotic haiku must be the literary equivalent of a quickie
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your poetry--I wish I had gotten a better shot of a tree yesterday, that had split and grown back together
wow!! you succeeded! :)
ReplyDeletenice haiku
autumn nights
ReplyDeletedesiring of heating up
another body
That's good. Winter nights too, desire the same :)
Unleash it, Gautami! Unleash it!
ReplyDeleteBut don't hurt anybody.
ReplyDeleteNow this one didn't do it for me, not that it matters, you have done better,,,,,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the photo is freaky-awesome. How I'd love to come across a tree like that in my travels.
ReplyDeleteAnd these are my favorite lines:
'bathed in cool heat
breathless, hair a mess'
Perfect.
ha! what a little cool-night snuggling leads to!! swirls of leaves falling in a storm's wind really does evoke passion
ReplyDeleteI read each as a separate piece. Enjoyed this.
ReplyDeletewhew! Did someone turn the heat on in here?
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm so glad it's the first day of fall. You never know what will happen this evening. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt sure doesn't fall flat! :) Nice work!
ReplyDeleteprofound! wow!!
ReplyDeleteI love the pic too. Amazing!
Keshi.
Yes, very erotic words. Great job.
ReplyDeleteJust one word for it...Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteA very lovely take on the prompt. Very well sensualized.
ReplyDeleteThat picture had me 'stumped' and quite honestly, I am totally committed to number 3, 'storm unleashed'.
ReplyDeleteM'lady it saddens me to see one of our own delving into the noxious world of the utterly commonplace whilst exploring the baser instincts of the lower classes.
ReplyDeleteMy Word.
i didn't know autumn can be hot ;)
ReplyDeletethe third one works best for me, too
I liked the mussed up hair...
ReplyDeleteso wonderfully wicked in taking the mundane and making it spark!
hot lines. :) and an image of what appears to be quite a hot tree. :O
ReplyDeleteVery erotic and seductive and I can see your grin :)
ReplyDeleteThe baser instincts -- all three were relishing..
ReplyDeleteand the image ..Natural Sculpture indeed for the theme...
brilliant words, artwork choice!
Gauthami...you made me grin, really!
see you more...