Saturday 6 November 2010

embracing weeds

I saw the message in the sky
arrived as soon as I could

weeds embraced her lovingly
ignoring her raucous breathing

her closed eyes were strung together
(I wanted those to open and look at me)

I took a blanket, covered her carefully
although I knew it was a lost cause

it was the 11th Anniversary of 10th day
of I don't recall what (wait while I think)

she obviously had forgotten it too
or I wouldn't have found her in water

I had been anticipating to meet her 
those words had already formed in my mind

"do you remember what we promised when we met...?
certainly not your inevitable death "

22 comments:

  1. Full of feelings Gautami..you always throw surprises.. thanks..

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  2. I love this one. You have such a way with words, Gautami! Such beautiful poetry :)

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  3. Hi Gautami, this was incredible . very nice .

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  4. This was so moving and thought provoking. I know it's a poem but I would love to hear much more about this relationship. Good job.

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  5. Unsettling. And disturbing.

    (the qualities of many a good Centus)

    =)

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  6. Great job! Love the raucous breathing, and still thinking about her closed eyes being strung together.

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  7. Very moving. You words have certainly set me mind alive with wonder and possibilities.

    Malisa

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  8. Very unusual lines and full of emotion....

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  9. Beautiful and sad, you're so good with that twist at the end

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  10. I could feel the weight of emotion. love it!

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  11. That was so emotional . Mine is where I hope to be in 11 years My divorce is imminent so I need to prepare to not look back

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  12. Very moving. I had to read it a number of times. Well written.

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  13. Haunting piece, Guatami. Beautifully written and evocative.

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  14. I had to read this through again, very moving. And you set the scene beautifully, I can see it in my mind's eye. Very original take on the prompt. Kat

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  15. What a sad piece. Very masterfully woven tale.

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  16. Very mooving and provocative

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  17. wow! incredible writing. left me with an eerie feeling i won't shake for awhile.

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  18. You have an exceptional way with words.

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  19. This gave me the chills. So poignant and sad. Victoria

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  20. Gorgeous. And as someone else said, unsettling. Wonderfully extraordinary.

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  21. What an unsettling and lovely use of these prompt words.

    I wrote this prompt in honor of Mr. Jenny's and my 11th Anniversary which was on this Saturday! And this was such a wonderful read that it was like an Anniversary gift.

    Thank you for linking.

    Wow.

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