Wednesday 3 November 2010

charcoal shadows

just a drawing
charcoal on a piece of paper
a butterfly flits over hills
that spider calls out to me
into its parlour

the lovers that we are
together we make shadows
oblivious to the fact 
we have been immortalized
in this yellowed paper

"when the rooster enters it,
I almost resent its presence
what does he see that I can't"

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"together we made shadows" is the line contributed by Mallery. I changed made to make.

35 comments:

  1. That rooster has a lot of nerve! :)

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  2. Good stuff!! "resent his presence" indeed!
    -- Kay

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  3. Very beautiful poem..this! Happy diwali Gautami..

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  4. You have quite the eye for all the wonderful detail in the photo ... nicely written.

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  5. I don't know what the rooster sees, but its obvious he's watching you.

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  6. I had to post another comment only because the word verification was "mensa"

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  7. "The lovers that we are"

    Very interesting stuff. Darn that rooster!

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  8. Hmm, what does he see? Nice piece.

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  9. Oh: rooster no. two this night. Seems to be a farm somewhere ;-) Nice work.

    Best wishes
    Ralf

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  10. and what did the rooster see?
    what's he gonna crow about in the morning?

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  11. I wish he could talk instead of crowing it all morning. haha

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  12. Being "immortalized in yellow paper." I love the imagery in this poem. It is so alive!

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  13. 'the spider calls out to me into its parlour' love this. nice write.

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  14. I love your take on the prompt! Who'd guess a rooster intruding on romance.

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  15. Beautiful use of your chosen Big Tent words, an if I squint my eyes a bit I can see the shadow on the yellow paper!

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  16. He sees dinner. But then, so does the spider.

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  17. You've penned a fine painting - immortal, it is.

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  18. Nice, but that rooster's a bit on the creepy side. lol

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  19. Watch out for that rooster. I like where you went with this poem.

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  20. Nice idea - the rooster as an interloper.

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  21. have a festive holiday...
    timeless theme,
    lovely tale.

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  22. Gautami,
    Love the imagery in this piece.
    Pamela

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  23. Wow You did well with Mallory's line it fit in perfectly! I am really glad you liked the Allouette below is a link to the site I find so many poetry variations you might find others you like!
    http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

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  24. Thought provoking and beautiful...i love this one Gautami! :-)

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