Saturday, 3 October 2009

holding on my breath

in that misted dawn
lantern of the sun
touches my skin

that first kiss of the day
shows me the way
to face a day, any day

without your presence
that mildest of essence
sends me to a seance

out of my window
my visions lay low
towards the sea I bow

I feel more kisses, so light
from that first light
before it gets dazzling bright

my descent to the concrete
is a follow up for ascent to the sky
I need to get out of that attic more often

31 comments:

  1. beautiful dear:)..enjoyed my read;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. An original take on the prompt. I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i think a first kiss can transform one's life in ways unimaginable. and then, your ending spruced my thoughts in a new direction. great write. hope all is well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Golly, now I know why I can't get up and out anymore. I am missing that catalytic kiss of my morning.
    This is cute. With the exception of the last verse your rhyme works well. Keeping those is hard with the short lines.
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  5. I personally loved the connection between kisses and light. What a great thought! (Thank you for your opinion on which haiku.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. All very pretty and romantic and light until that concrete (reality?) bites? A slight twist of irony?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Loved the rhyme and the essense of it. Beautiful take on the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Light and kiss and hope....And survival out there. I enjoyed this very much.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I loved this poem...especially the last line, which made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That first kiss is all it takes for a good day. Nice imagery too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. :) wonderful first kiss!! a gem of a poem!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow, so moving and bright, strange lol and beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the image of the "lantern of the sun" Gautami! Also the idea of descending to start the day -- as if the night time were on a higher plane metaphorically as well as up in the attic!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Indeed the attic can clutter a person`s visions...loved your awakening.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This poetry brought a smile at this end. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. i need to spend more time here...

    ReplyDelete
  17. your words remind me of morning prayer at dawn, as the first rays bathe the world...& how "re-entry" into the day's mundane can be jarring.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's not good to stay in the attic - glad you can be freed by a kiss. Neat work!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Loved the first verse best, but it was all gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  20. As always my friend, you make me reach out to poetry, which is not my thing, and I am happy for it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I like this stanza:

    'that first kiss of the day
    shows me the way
    to face a day, any day'

    As well as the way you wrap up the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Liked the surprise ending to this - you always have such original ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  23. nicely done--you always seem to have a "hook" at the end of your poems. I was also intrigued by the rhyme scheme--with all but the first and last verses rhyming.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A lovely surprise at the end. Very well done. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love the way the rhyme falls apart at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Nicely done- very creative use of rhyme!

    ReplyDelete