tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post6544751370991067793..comments2023-10-05T03:12:14.296-07:00Comments on poemette: holding on my breathgautami tripathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04192356825699543613noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-2591396474730391112009-10-08T18:17:37.951-07:002009-10-08T18:17:37.951-07:00That is beautiful!That is beautiful!Just someonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05292308457359940182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-68659478716327329102009-10-07T18:34:07.094-07:002009-10-07T18:34:07.094-07:00Nicely done- very creative use of rhyme!Nicely done- very creative use of rhyme!Pattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04993186190720192589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-80363231053584197612009-10-06T12:48:08.440-07:002009-10-06T12:48:08.440-07:00I love the way the rhyme falls apart at the end.I love the way the rhyme falls apart at the end.Jameshttp://coyotemercury.com/blog1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-42672668143524377242009-10-06T06:38:07.587-07:002009-10-06T06:38:07.587-07:00A lovely surprise at the end. Very well done. Than...A lovely surprise at the end. Very well done. Thank you.Patoishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07764936858778730692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-9976174894432087082009-10-06T04:22:06.808-07:002009-10-06T04:22:06.808-07:00nicely done--you always seem to have a "hook&...nicely done--you always seem to have a "hook" at the end of your poems. I was also intrigued by the rhyme scheme--with all but the first and last verses rhyming.sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17499891950639742366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-30921421197174198202009-10-05T06:12:22.209-07:002009-10-05T06:12:22.209-07:00Liked the surprise ending to this - you always hav...Liked the surprise ending to this - you always have such original ideas.Janice Thomsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02506920585319893814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-86817319410605932552009-10-05T06:10:20.891-07:002009-10-05T06:10:20.891-07:00I like this stanza:'that first kiss of the day...I like this stanza:<br><br>'that first kiss of the day<br>shows me the way<br>to face a day, any day'<br><br>As well as the way you wrap up the poem.Julia Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15392455413201190775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-65068738592177011202009-10-04T20:40:07.828-07:002009-10-04T20:40:07.828-07:00As always my friend, you make me reach out to poet...As always my friend, you make me reach out to poetry, which is not my thing, and I am happy for it.DJParehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04029267667550203879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-29440923522608294512009-10-04T20:32:04.339-07:002009-10-04T20:32:04.339-07:00Loved the first verse best, but it was all gorgeou...Loved the first verse best, but it was all gorgeous!Dee Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05077141911351737390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-47158748362484112932009-10-04T18:10:24.597-07:002009-10-04T18:10:24.597-07:00It's not good to stay in the attic - glad you ...It's not good to stay in the attic - glad you can be freed by a kiss. Neat work!Tumblewords:http://www.blogger.com/profile/04279038951489894119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-50167592502660399682009-10-04T17:08:51.086-07:002009-10-04T17:08:51.086-07:00such a grand first kiss~ Spirithelperssuch a grand first kiss~ <a href="http://miztlee.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"><br>Spirithelpers</a>Tammie Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09018402134070834516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-3647250092685991202009-10-04T16:32:06.416-07:002009-10-04T16:32:06.416-07:00your words remind me of morning prayer at dawn, as...your words remind me of morning prayer at dawn, as the first rays bathe the world...& how "re-entry" into the day's mundane can be jarring.qualcosa di bellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15107076097533430296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-6209879830512546922009-10-04T15:24:49.474-07:002009-10-04T15:24:49.474-07:00i need to spend more time here...i need to spend more time here...Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17957834646085933322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-59031450899072132932009-10-04T09:50:51.948-07:002009-10-04T09:50:51.948-07:00This poetry brought a smile at this end. Thank you...This poetry brought a smile at this end. Thank you.indicaspecieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04082836899942612554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-86424931632833053862009-10-04T09:46:39.302-07:002009-10-04T09:46:39.302-07:00Indeed the attic can clutter a person`s visions......Indeed the attic can clutter a person`s visions...loved your awakening.Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02023472067047797430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-83356140362336660792009-10-04T08:37:09.625-07:002009-10-04T08:37:09.625-07:00I love the image of the "lantern of the sun&q...I love the image of the "lantern of the sun" Gautami! Also the idea of descending to start the day -- as if the night time were on a higher plane metaphorically as well as up in the attic!Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07764262558160301061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-47553124279036764892009-10-04T08:29:09.218-07:002009-10-04T08:29:09.218-07:00Wow, so moving and bright, strange lol and beautif...Wow, so moving and bright, strange lol and beautifulLorrainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14667955555940467301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-2852409897619591982009-10-04T08:07:09.665-07:002009-10-04T08:07:09.665-07:00:) wonderful first kiss!! a gem of a poem!:) wonderful first kiss!! a gem of a poem!Leohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09351446518713188860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-76322239411543454102009-10-04T05:28:08.549-07:002009-10-04T05:28:08.549-07:00That first kiss is all it takes for a good day. Ni...That first kiss is all it takes for a good day. Nice imagery too.Loch Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10912194134878544461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-64912935692984040222009-10-04T04:59:01.771-07:002009-10-04T04:59:01.771-07:00I loved this poem...especially the last line, whic...I loved this poem...especially the last line, which made me smile.Sweetest in the Galehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00834386300886224116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-29207771272344206162009-10-04T04:10:29.203-07:002009-10-04T04:10:29.203-07:00Light and kiss and hope....And survival out there....Light and kiss and hope....And survival out there. I enjoyed this very much.SandyCarlsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10752798823532580733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-73328542273898480592009-10-04T01:24:30.342-07:002009-10-04T01:24:30.342-07:00Loved the rhyme and the essense of it. Beautiful t...Loved the rhyme and the essense of it. Beautiful take on the prompt.swapnahttp://swapnap.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-35049162429679319592009-10-04T01:12:18.235-07:002009-10-04T01:12:18.235-07:00All very pretty and romantic and light until that ...All very pretty and romantic and light until that concrete (reality?) bites? A slight twist of irony?Greyscale Territoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466540188839321484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-72701212133159779632009-10-03T22:32:13.927-07:002009-10-03T22:32:13.927-07:00I personally loved the connection between kisses a...I personally loved the connection between kisses and light. What a great thought! (Thank you for your opinion on which haiku.)Andreehttp://meeyauw-pad.blogspot.com/2009/10/one-single-impression-descent.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6820615718469502862.post-80113135196715171382009-10-03T22:09:45.234-07:002009-10-03T22:09:45.234-07:00Golly, now I know why I can't get up and out a...Golly, now I know why I can't get up and out anymore. I am missing that catalytic kiss of my morning.<br>This is cute. With the exception of the last verse your rhyme works well. Keeping those is hard with the short lines.<br>..Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02982249173214655060noreply@blogger.com