Saturday 7 March 2009

let me be

you chose your path
I too have to go my way
my outwardly open palms
will not close and let me sway
listen up because
I got only this much to say

I am moving ahead
sidestepping obstacles in my way
so-called promises of forever
wouldn't let me sway
listen up because
I got few more words to say

my silences ought to tell
you
to keep out of my way
now my closed fists
are making sure, I don't sway
listen up carefully because
now I got nothing else to say

19 comments:

  1. nicely done. i like the repetition of listen up and bringing the last verse back to the first one.. about swaying.

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  2. Oh, Gautami, this is aching. I love how the stanza-starting refrain changes. How there's no going back even as there's a small desire to do so.

    Well done, my friend!

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  3. I love this Guatami - love the determination to follow one's gut feelings. The ending was perfect.

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  4. quite clear, the message.
    all too familiar the situation
    and good that the writer has a clear head - all is good when we KNOW what to do and do it.
    Jesus be your guide.

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  5. Strong message that seemingly is crafted in a calm disposition. Liked it.

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  6. Forceful with great repetitions.

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  7. Very decisive, written with calm determination and resolve.

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  8. What a powerful piece. I can't imagine you with nothing else to say!

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  9. Another good poem, well done!

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  10. I love the strength in this poem! And the repetition of fists!

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  11. Loved this poem much.Nice flow.How are you?

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  12. Strength and determination shine through here...I really enjoyed the empowerment of this poem.

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  13. Way to say! Love the power and 'hear me roar' tone of this. Good job!

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  14. Wow...you expressed this very well...he will surely listen up...

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  15. I wouldn't sway
    either
    noway!

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  16. It's sad that some folks need wake up calls before they change. Looks we thought on similar lines. :)

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  17. I like the way you measure each stanza with the bottom line indicator and the final line of the last verse concludes so well 'now I got nothing else to say'

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  18. This is excellent, Gautami. And something I can really relate to right now. I needed to read this today. Thanks.

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  19. At first, this poem combines gentleness with strength. I appreciate the resolve and determination to "sidestep obstacles." For me, the point of view shifts in the last stanza. Sometimes words are not enough and silence is not a warning.

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