Saturday, 14 April 2007

Surreptitious Self--------Sunday Sribblings

Sunday Scribblings wants us to write about our secret identity. Over the years, I have desired to take over many personas but never secretly. It might sound weird but even now I can hold conversations in my head. When I was around 11 years old, I wanted to dye my hair purple and paint my nails green and join Deep Purple. Needless to say, it never happened.

It was not very easy for me to write on this but I managed it as honestly as I could. Of course in poetic form, what else!!

Surreptitious Self

what i really am or what i show to world;
where one part of me ends, other part
takes over. no distinct demarcation

no blacks, no whites; only all those
shades bridging in between. trying to
preserve self, i lose out on identity.

my fears live me empty; i try to fill
those gaps. i could never do it
being someone else which I can not be

however hard i try. anyway who
decides what i am or what i am not-
other than myself, maybe not even me.

with unbiased thoughts i must let it
out, i might just be tad too boring
to be someone else other than myself.

For more on this, click secret identities...


  1. " SMOKE on the water, FIRE in the Sky!"

    I am and I do.
    So should you!

  2. I always enjoy your posts and this is no different. Thanks again!

  3. steve: What am I supposed to do?

    kai: I am just being myself, girl.

    misplaced: Thanks.

    magiceye: Thanks.

    liza: thanks.

  4. I went through a mini identity crisis doing this prompt. you know, like who am I really? Nice poem.

  5. i am what i am. why should i want to be anything else?
    well done!

  6. I agree entirely, all my secret identities are not really secret, it's all just part of the whole, though some people may be surprised by some parts of me.

  7. You are who you are, very inspiring.

  8. I love this poem!
    What an inspiring way to tackle this week's prompt.

  9. Thanks for you work, is very good, and have a good weekend.

  10. I always look forward to your scribbles. You so accurately portrayed the internal dealings with identity.

  11. very thought provoking...I shall chew on this content for a bit.

  12. awesome! I am what I am.
    Great poem.

  13. I really liked, "trying to preserve self, i lose out on identity."

  14. colleen: If you look at my profile on this page, you would know what I mean. Do we really know whowe are? So what do we tell the others?

    polona: Yes, thanks.

    crafty: even we are surprised at some part of ours.

    jennifer: thanks.

    bohemian mom: You too write so well. I liked yours too.

    david: thanks.

    tori: thanks. I had this realisation, why should I wantor pretend to be any one else other than myself.

    nuttersnotes: Weel, that's high praise, I think. Thanks.

    dailypanic: thanks.

    deb g: Isn't that true? We do lose out on identity trying to preserve self.

  15. You pack a lot of wisdom into a few short verses!

  16. The "trying to preserve self, I lose on identity" is a great line. Nice poem.

  17. No, absolutely you are NOT boring!. On the contrary, this poem tells me that you are unpretentious which is endearing. In fact I would say you are interesting, you don't have to make up someone else to cover for you! You are just fine and a marvelous poet.

  18. autrice: Poetry IS like that. Loaded ideas in shortest of verses!

    paris/tara: your poem is one of the best.

    ces: Thanks. I am kind of relieved to know that. I never claimed to be anything other than myself. I do not even use

  19. this topic is so pertinent for my thinking right now, and your take on it is wonderfully thought-provoking. Thank you, Gautami, for your honest wisdom. The poem itself delivers your thoughts with great style and rhythm.

  20. Wonderful poem. The person who wrote it cold never be boring.

  21. Gautami,
    Poetic and honest, cousin. Well done.
    However I can tell you stories.....

  22. unfolding rose: AsI stated on my post, this was not easy for me. I took a while to think what to write.
    I wrote what I am. I do not even use any other name other than my real one. Glad it touched a chord with you.

    patry: I just visited you blog and liked what I read. Welcome and thanks.

    remiman: Your posts are so refreshingly different. I enjoy reading those. You are one great story teller.

  23. Wonderful ! It made me think & ponder.


  24. Love this. Thoughtful take on the prompt.

  25. wonderful words, gautami.

    there's still time for purple hair and green nails!

  26. Doesn’t matter what you show the world! It’s how they perceive you in the end anyways.
    There seems to be many misconceptions about people. You are what they say you are….even if it’s not true….which leads back to the inner workings of who we are! Only we really know who we are…and those most intimate to us!Even they get it wrong at times! Wonderfully introspective! Much to ponder here!! Good job!

    Peace Giggles

  27. I like your title. Nice job.

  28. Deep Purple--my brother's favorite band (we had different favorite bands which expanded the record collection in our home)

    Nice poem, like the ending about being a tad boring if you're someone else

  29. I've learned a great deal from conversations with myself, even though the arguments are sometimes rather heated.

  30. I hold conversations in my head too! Mostly with my husband where I say all the witty retorts I couldn't think of at the time we were arguing :)

  31. I really enjoyed the ambivelance in this poem...the struggle of who you really are, to yourself. Good job. :)

  32. wonderful!
    Yet, you know that the purple hair and green nails are still not really you.
    Your true self is LOVE!
    hugs for you :o)

  33. Boring I don't think you are. Honest a real scribblings!!

  34. kavi: ponder away!

    jone: thanks.

    ian russell: Thanks! I do not think so. As a school teacher I have to maintain some decorum!

    giggles: That is so true. It is how the world sees us. But we still something of ourselves.

    sarala: thanks!

    sage: the ending says maybe I am tad boring to be anything else. Not what you fathomed.

    bill: the arguments are always heated in our heads. And the best part is, we win!

    bongga mom: I like that!

    mardougrrl, keshi: thanks!

    trinitystar: yes, that is not me. Thanks for saying my true self is love.

    pat: thanks. Sometimes finding the true self takes a lifetrime journey.

  35. hey, i'm a Deep Purple fan too! :)

    gautami, you boring? Not a bit.

  36. I wrote a nice comment yesterday but blogger ate it! I liked your poem and the image of "shades bridging in between."

  37. Some voices are more real than others. I like how honest you are with yourself.

  38. dsnake1: I am finding lots od deep purople fans. How can we be boring if we like that band?


    tammy: it is ok. Blogger does that to all of us. Thanks.

    brian: thank you. I never ever thought of using anything other than my own name.

  39. Beautiful poem :)

    Thanks for your comment on my blog. glad you liked my piece.

  40. It's not boring to just be you --- you know who you are and are happy with you. That is very powerful!

  41. love this ...

    this line especially

    anyway who decides what i am or what i am not- other than myself, maybe not even me.

    MAYBE NOT EVEN ME ... love it !!!

  42. sonya: welcome to my blog. Thanks. You write well.

    kg:Thanks. Actually it is just easy to be oneself...:D

    kathryn: thanks. You picked out that line which I had liked the most.

  43. I enjoyed the openness of this post, especially its fluidity: no blacks, no whites, bridges- no distinct demarcation.
    P.S. I have had my hair (slightly purple), but the band rejected me. :) (Seriously, my hair... has had a purple cast, but it hardly shows with my hair so dark.)

    I have lots of catching up to do on your blog.Real life has been a bit too real...

  44. When I was around 11 years old, I wanted to dye my hair purple and paint my nails green and join Deep Purple.---> !!!!!!

    Everyone seems to be hiding so much, but maybe its not meant to be told...and its much easier when we dont know it. imagine the many people who passed on and never let their secrets out.