I thought you had fenced it
wrapping it around moments,
each one an entity in itself
on these pages I see vacuum-
a solitude, no one else seeks.
in the newspapers, words unwrap
fall apart on my lap
I collect each one
and arrange in the busy alone-ness
"in my dangling shoes,
why do I have that fenced feeling?"
nice..i much like the image of words, falling apart on your lap and then the collecting and arranging..
ReplyDeleteBusy alone-ness. It seems this is not a happy solitude, maybe?
ReplyDeleteAs you say: you don't need our approval: you know you are good. Poetic fragments artistically arranged.
ReplyDelete...."that fenced in feeling"....I remember! Makes one want to soar over it!
ReplyDeleteLove how this reads...very nicely done.
ReplyDeleteFun - actually like the feel of this poem.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anyone else asking, but I will take a chance to break the taboo of poetry bloggers - "never question a poet's choice of words":
You wrote:
"where is you gaze, I ask?"
is that a typo? Is it suppose to be:
"where is youR gaze, I ask?"
PS -- please turn off word verification -- it is a pain
I like the variety of images in this. Solitude is indeed different for each of us.
ReplyDeleteI really like where the challenge took you. You reference a fence but build upon that idea, using other forms of containment. Very much liked the line about the page being a vacuum. Well done and Viva la
ReplyDelete"words unwrap
ReplyDeletefall apart on my lap
I collect each one
and arrange in the busy alone-ness"
absolutely stunning!
♥
Its wrapped...too good..
ReplyDeleteYes, we shouldn't be bogged down with that feeling of being stultified. We're our own soul loving and capable of being loved. Nicely Gautami!
ReplyDeleteHank
This is lovely .. fencing in solitude is an intriguing concept....
ReplyDeleteVery well-written poetry.
ReplyDeleteFantastic piece...there are times I feel so lonely "wrapped in solitude" other times alone is my freedom.
ReplyDeleteYes, why feel fenced? Words fall apart and refuse the fencing you had imagined. Hmmm. Evocative!
ReplyDeleteGreat images in this, love those last two lines!
ReplyDeleteThis is a poem that is so easy to relate to. There are so many times I have felt fenced in also.
ReplyDeletemoments... fenced in
ReplyDeleteWe do that, don't we. Great metaphor.
Oh you did an awesome job with the prompt. I like the feel of this. One can certainly feel the words you wrote.
ReplyDelete