my axis has broken
after spinning for so long
on the ground that I lie now
I hug the stones close
meditate fervently for my love
my covert glances cannot hide
my overt hunger for you-
when did I manage to lose
the treasure in the moss-
my palms tried to enclose it
wrapping it up did not help
you escaped through the gaps
between my fingers-
now I have made railway tracks
feel free to travel on those
"let me drink to the end of my perfect dream"
This is a beautiful poem
ReplyDeleteso nicely done!
Pamela
Beautifully written! Great post!
ReplyDelete-Weasel
The feelings here, are so strong they are almost painful. You handle them with care, honor and respect them. That is a treasure. Thank you for sharing it,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Good that you can let someone go with no regrets.
ReplyDeleteThe way of Nature... One has to find his/her nature and path.
ReplyDeleteNice, Gautami.
Best regards.
great poem! particularly fond of the lines now I have made railway tracks
ReplyDeletefeel free to travel on those
peace,
JP/deb
"now I have made railway tracks
ReplyDeletefeel free to travel on those"
Yes let him be a free bird. Yours if returns!
feelings so beautifully put in words.
They've all said what I was going to say. Thankyou for this poem.
ReplyDeleteExcellent, as always.
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful, starting with the title and to the perfect dream ending.
ReplyDeleteLetting go and being there--not easy! Beautiful. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Guatami..
ReplyDeletenow I have made railway tracks
feel free to travel on those
Needs total awareness about self to be able to bestow such freedom..
I always learn from your wisdom..
Gautami,
ReplyDeleteFeelings on someone you treasure going away expressed so well in the opening words itself.
Take care
Good travelling-poetry.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Ralf
A heartfelt melody of love so close, yet lost. And how to pave a path back to that love? You poem seems so real. I hope your love has returned.
ReplyDeleteThis is great Gautami, I especially like the last verse. Well done!
ReplyDeletewww.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
Exquisite...love will never stay if it is held tightly...free it.
ReplyDeleterailway tracks...Monday Poetry Train...? :)
yeah what they all sed... those last two lines just knock us over with understanding... this is a keeper!!
ReplyDeletepassionate overt...!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Excellent!
ReplyDeletewow...and i am amazed when i say that...:-)
ReplyDeletebeautiful metaphor I say so...
thanks for your comment in my post and sure I will link one of my latest short story at Monday Poetry Train Revisited!
have a nice day Gautami!
beautifully put Gautami, how I hate waking up from my beautiful dreams, sigh
ReplyDeleteLovely writing . Have a beautiful style. Very nice poem
ReplyDeleteYour final line is so prayer like.... mmmm... I want to drink it all in...
ReplyDeleteMy "Overt" poem in this week's OSI -
This was such a visual poem for me, could see the broken axis, the stones, and love that slips through your fingers. Lovely work.
ReplyDeletenicely done Gautami...thanks for this
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful - I think this is the one I like best from amongst all your poems. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
Wonderful poem, Tami. It so nicely tells the story of life and love and of the cycles of both.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got to the railway tracks I was reminded of a little family of seven I saw last night playing down with the rails of the London Metro. They were rats, Mama, Papa, and five kids.
And thank you for the nice prompt, Overt.
so well said,
ReplyDeletewhat beautiful images.
my entry is up.
now I have made railway tracks
ReplyDeletefeel free to travel on those
That was just perfect.
beautiful and interesting poem well done:D Thank for sharing^^
ReplyDelete