I rhyme tepid with vapid,
meanwhile, I try to
get rid of smell that is acrid
ah well, you better tell me-
does bane go with sane?!
or is it sane that is bane
does that work better?
acrid was what you bid
try what you may-
tepid wine tastes so vapid!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posting a distorted NaiSaiKu after aeons, I think!
well played.
ReplyDeletereally liked it.
ReplyDeleteDeepak
cadeepaknarula.blogspot.com
I liked it, and can agree with the sentiment in the last line.
ReplyDeletefun take on 3ww
ReplyDeleteNaiSaiKu and then some - works well for 3ww too.
ReplyDeleteThat is creative!
ReplyDeleteClever stuff Gautami! Sorry I've not been around lately, we've been camping in the south of England, and soaking up all the warm weather here.
ReplyDeletethis was interesting and enjoyable read for me ..
ReplyDeleteInformative too since i learnt about a new poem form.
thanks !!
You a have a way to keep things lighter..keep writing Gautami.. waiting for your visit to my ROADS..
ReplyDeleteVery playful!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this, and you've given us another new form to try. I'll never remember that name: naisaiku - Japanese, I presume.
ReplyDeleteGautami,
ReplyDeleteRead 3 poems now. It is true we bond with fellow bloggers and miss them if either can not visit due to any reason. This one is very good play with words of opposite / similar sense.
Take care
Good fun with technique. Really like the word play.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Loved this! Very clever and reads musically.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteNice chewy words to work with!!
ReplyDeleteHumerous. Enjoyed.
ReplyDelete