Monday, 26 October 2009
clipped toenails
her nagging drowns his strumming guitar
his head bows down and down
closing his eyes, he blots her out-
slowly starts a tuneless song
instead of ending the discussion,
this winds her up even more.
she again starts on about his faults,
reciting one after another
as though she’s building up a case
he leans back in his big blue recliner-
starts clipping his toenails
he wonders if maybe he can
get one of those prefab storage sheds for the backyard
he needs a place he can be alone
and play his guitar as loud as he wishes
if he soundproofs it,
he can use the little shed as a recording studio
more he clips his nails, more he whistles
and suddenly senses something
looks at the darkening sky and says-
we'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon,
and they mostly come at night... mostly
"his bent head doesn't register her fangs
till those dig into the back of his neck"
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Like the build up in this poem and how the sound "S" in so many words adds to the scary effect
ReplyDeleteyou've certainly set the mood for Halloween with this one. it's great. didn't see this ending coming. have a great day.
ReplyDeleteI like how the ordinary turns supernatural!
ReplyDeletewow, what a turn of events--I'll admit, I was a little nervous about what to expect from the poem's title! :)
ReplyDeleteLoved the way it ends...Interesting !
ReplyDeleteThat really morphed into something I wasn't expecting. Nice and Halloween-y.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.....Supernatural
ReplyDeleteDon't comment much on others' poetry.
ReplyDeleteA private and rediculous affair for me, especially, with the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.
This is good, though.
Special. Observant? Subjective?
whoa, you really would like the show 'Supernatural' it's spectacular and frightening, like your words
ReplyDeleteooh the paranormal feel is so so cool!
ReplyDeletereally enjoyed it..
I enjoyed this departure from your usual style. I felt like you were describing a scene from real life in a world far different than I've read here before. I could identify with him wanting that solitude SO much. (I also missed the supernatural last 2 lines until I saw the comments, so I liked the poem a lot without them, too!)
ReplyDeleteOh wonderful. You built it up so gradually and wound it up with a slow but sure shock. It was like a beautiful smile leisurely turning into a sinister one and like a “very late night” nervous laughter... :)
ReplyDeletei can't pick the message...
ReplyDeletemaybe i am so dumb these days and nothing registers in my mind at all!
you are a natural poet Gautami!
hope to read more of your works!
i can't pick the message...
ReplyDeletemaybe i am so dumb these days and nothing registers in my mind at all!
you are a natural poet Gautami!
hope to read more of your works!
wonderful as usual
ReplyDeleteAnAestheticBard said...It's me
ReplyDelete-shashidhar
I'm stealing this one.
ReplyDelete