Wednesday, 4 March 2009

at age.....

at age seven, I dreamt of you
your lopsided genuine smile
reflected on my facade

at age sixteen, I craved for you
siding up to you for your touch

at age twenty one, I woke up
next to you, your ramble
tickling me senseless

at age thirty, I basked under
your love, only your love

at age forty, I am all alone
picking up the pieces after you
avenge what, sadly I know not
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30 comments:

  1. pia4 March 2009 at 08:25

    very true, sad and beautiful

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  2. Janice Thomson4 March 2009 at 08:28

    Love how you take us through the years...and through the feelings without a fairy-tale ending.

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  3. Fledgling Poet4 March 2009 at 09:40

    This is heartbreaking...you expressed it with eloquence.

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  4. quin browne4 March 2009 at 10:45

    i hate love stories like this... they always make me sad.

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  5. SweetTalkingGuy..4 March 2009 at 12:15

    I like the way you are able to 'voice' what is happening in so many peoples lives!

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  6. ThomG4 March 2009 at 12:49

    Drew my in and kept me rapped all the way through. Nice.

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  7. Whitesnake4 March 2009 at 13:46

    Beautifully put Girl!

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  8. Christy4 March 2009 at 14:20

    40 seems to be a painful and lonely age for so many, i felt this poem

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  9. anthonynorth4 March 2009 at 14:51

    The story of so many lives, unfortunately.

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  10. Linda Jacobs4 March 2009 at 16:23

    Half a lifetime in a few lines. So much joy and pain is contained in this poem!

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  11. Just someone4 March 2009 at 17:59

    That is so sweet and a little sad too :(

    seven to forty in a flash!

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  12. Tumblewords:4 March 2009 at 18:38

    Well done! A bittersweet piece of life...

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  13. Angel4 March 2009 at 20:20

    Was hoping for a happy ending!

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  14. Zouxzoux4 March 2009 at 20:52

    The progressive story of life. Well done!

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  15. Jeeves4 March 2009 at 20:52

    I walked with you this time. Very very nice one

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  16. Jacqueline4 March 2009 at 21:47

    Avenging for what! Exactly! Very poignant.

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  17. J. Andrew Lockhart4 March 2009 at 21:51

    beautiful, but sad...

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  18. Ann (bunnygirl)4 March 2009 at 22:48

    Like Tumblewords, I had hoped for a happy ending. But life isn't always like that, is it?

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  19. SweetTalkingGuy5 March 2009 at 02:23

    Hi Gautami, just stopped by to read this again, and that wise last line - avenge what? sadly I know not!
    -Andy

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  20. Donald Harbour5 March 2009 at 04:56

    सुप्रभात, I liked the compression of emotion through time into minimal verses. Beautifully done.

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  21. Raven's Wing Poetry5 March 2009 at 05:49

    Wow. I loved the journey, even though the ending was painful. Very eloquent.

    -Nicole

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  22. impudence5 March 2009 at 06:15

    i couldn't agree more. beautiful.

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  23. floreta5 March 2009 at 07:25

    this is a long time to go thru the motions with someone :(

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  24. Lirone5 March 2009 at 11:11

    Sad... I wonder what future years will bring.

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  25. sage5 March 2009 at 19:31

    the other commenters have all said it before me--beautiful and sad

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  26. Sepiru Chris5 March 2009 at 20:43

    I like the ending.

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  27. Writer on Board6 March 2009 at 11:57

    Um. Um. Um. Sigh. You got me.

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  28. - A - C -7 March 2009 at 03:05

    so unfortuately true... especially in the ending.

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  29. Beloved Dreamer7 March 2009 at 09:08

    Tami, this is beautiful sad but just wonderfully written. Well done my friend.


    love, Melanie

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  30. Bone9 March 2009 at 07:51

    Heartbreaking, yes, is the first word that came to my mind.

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