Saturday, 7 March 2009

let me be

you chose your path
I too have to go my way
my outwardly open palms
will not close and let me sway
listen up because
I got only this much to say

I am moving ahead
sidestepping obstacles in my way
so-called promises of forever
wouldn't let me sway
listen up because
I got few more words to say

my silences ought to tell you
to keep out of my way
now my closed fists
are making sure, I don't sway
listen up carefully because
now I got nothing else to say
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19 comments:

  1. floreta7 March 2009 at 07:54

    nicely done. i like the repetition of listen up and bringing the last verse back to the first one.. about swaying.

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  2. Susan Helene Gottfried7 March 2009 at 08:34

    Oh, Gautami, this is aching. I love how the stanza-starting refrain changes. How there's no going back even as there's a small desire to do so.

    Well done, my friend!

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  3. Janice Thomson7 March 2009 at 08:38

    I love this Guatami - love the determination to follow one's gut feelings. The ending was perfect.

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  4. David7 March 2009 at 08:45

    quite clear, the message.
    all too familiar the situation
    and good that the writer has a clear head - all is good when we KNOW what to do and do it.
    Jesus be your guide.

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  5. captainmolecule7 March 2009 at 09:44

    Strong message that seemingly is crafted in a calm disposition. Liked it.

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  6. anthonynorth7 March 2009 at 10:31

    Forceful with great repetitions.

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  7. SSQuo7 March 2009 at 11:55

    Very decisive, written with calm determination and resolve.

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  8. keiths ramblings7 March 2009 at 12:28

    What a powerful piece. I can't imagine you with nothing else to say!

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  9. sage7 March 2009 at 14:01

    Another good poem, well done!

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  10. Linda Jacobs7 March 2009 at 14:14

    I love the strength in this poem! And the repetition of fists!

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  11. venus667 March 2009 at 16:29

    Loved this poem much.Nice flow.How are you?

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  12. Fledgling Poet7 March 2009 at 18:32

    Strength and determination shine through here...I really enjoyed the empowerment of this poem.

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  13. Tumblewords:7 March 2009 at 18:59

    Way to say! Love the power and 'hear me roar' tone of this. Good job!

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  14. nairobi8 March 2009 at 01:37

    Wow...you expressed this very well...he will surely listen up...

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  15. Latree8 March 2009 at 03:46

    I wouldn't sway
    either
    noway!

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  16. Bee Bee8 March 2009 at 05:10

    It's sad that some folks need wake up calls before they change. Looks we thought on similar lines. :)

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  17. SweetTalkingGuy8 March 2009 at 05:32

    I like the way you measure each stanza with the bottom line indicator and the final line of the last verse concludes so well 'now I got nothing else to say'

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  18. Bone9 March 2009 at 07:48

    This is excellent, Gautami. And something I can really relate to right now. I needed to read this today. Thanks.

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  19. bluebethley10 March 2009 at 13:21

    At first, this poem combines gentleness with strength. I appreciate the resolve and determination to "sidestep obstacles." For me, the point of view shifts in the last stanza. Sometimes words are not enough and silence is not a warning.

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