Saturday, 7 June 2008

pet peeves



admiring the gardens,
what do I truly see
blossoming flowers,
fruit laden green trees-
dandelions blooming
along with sweet peas;
puddle of rain water
or is it my pet's pee?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a re-worked post. I thought it suited the prompt rather well. As I seldom write anything light like this, now I wait for brickbats..:)
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22 comments:

  1. Raven7 June 2008 at 21:47

    Well, you made me laugh. No brickbats from me.

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  2. Mandy7 June 2008 at 23:08

    None from me either. Your take on the theme is not dis-similar from mine.

    ReplyDelete
  3. zoya gautam8 June 2008 at 00:15

    None from me either. thank u for the point of view..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ackworth Born8 June 2008 at 00:19

    OK - not a brick-bat but a small nit-pick - do you really need that word "truly"?

    otherwise it is fine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Edward S Gault8 June 2008 at 01:15

    I like it,
    Very clever wordplay.
    Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  6. SandyCarlson8 June 2008 at 02:34

    What fun! I like the pun and the spirit of this piece. (There's that "pee" sound again...!)
    Writing in Faith: Poems

    ReplyDelete
  7. WillThink4Wine8 June 2008 at 07:48

    Full of whimsy! Pee happens!

    ReplyDelete
  8. gardenpath8 June 2008 at 08:25

    Could be both!

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  9. the teach8 June 2008 at 09:31

    Gautami, how marvelous a play on words! LOL! :D

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  10. STP8 June 2008 at 09:58

    Ha! I like this!

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  11. polona8 June 2008 at 10:35

    this made me laugh out loud :)

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  12. Lisa at Greenbow8 June 2008 at 12:29

    You are funny. This does not deserve a brikbat. It is quite amusing and oh so true.

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  13. watermaid9 June 2008 at 04:39

    It made me laugh. You used rhyme to good effect!

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  14. teric9 June 2008 at 08:07

    LOL Love that funny surprise ending.

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  15. Geraldine9 June 2008 at 08:48

    This was great Gautami! Loved the ending. The link worked fine, that you left over at MPP. Hope that's the end of the problems, stopping by here. The last couple of times, everything went wonky!!! ;<(

    www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

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  16. Angelica9 June 2008 at 17:49

    Nice rhyming scheme. The ending surprised me, really funny.

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  17. Quiet Paths9 June 2008 at 19:35

    *grin* Very clever!

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  18. Whitesnake10 June 2008 at 02:53

    brick bats? what are they?

    I guess ya lightening up just a little...........
    and that is cool........
    sweet as!
    a bit like you......

    ReplyDelete
  19. Whitesnake10 June 2008 at 02:57

    Ok ya want brick brats....

    It had no substance...
    It flowed like a mudslide ..all over the place...
    the words used didn't even come close to what ya tried to say....
    the stanza was not existant
    the spelling was terrible...
    oh and to top that off I didn't get
    ...
    Other than that I thought it was great!

    ReplyDelete
  20. MyBellavia10 June 2008 at 05:02

    Pets do give us their all! A puddle of pee is wonderful! Especially, outside in the garden!

    Chuckle!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. DeLi10 June 2008 at 22:37

    the last line is a killer :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. one more believer12 June 2008 at 11:29

    light hearted smiles... dandelions, everywhere...

    ReplyDelete

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