He looked with rapt attention at the cascading water down her perfect body. Desire rose through him yet again. Suddenly the love-filled night was not enough. The serpent of yearning was soaring all too soon. Picking her up, he went back to bed. The dance of love began as never before. Crescendo to calm.
So finally I did it. 55 words story!
Crescendo!!!! Calm - has a problem.
ReplyDeleteYou should have closed it as -
Picking her, he went back to the bed. The dance of love began as never before. Crescendo to calm.
(just a suggestion)
BTW - excellent word works!!!
55 Words. If I change it that way, it will be 56 words. How much one can do under the circumstances?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will rewrite it!
Thanks, just a human!
Gautami,
ReplyDelete"He looked with rapt attention at the cascading water down her perfect body. Felt desire rise through him yet again. Suddenly the love-filled night was not enough. The serpent of yearning was soaring all too soon. Picking her, he went back to the bed. The dance of love began as never before. Crescendo to calm."
- is 55 words.
Your story is excellent.. just a little fix.
OR THIS...:)
ReplyDelete"He looked with rapt attention at the cascading water down her perfect body. Desire rose through him yet again. Suddenly the love-filled night was not enough. The serpent of yearning was soaring all too soon. Picking her, he went back to the bed. The dance of love began as never before. Crescendo to calm."
Thanks.
Posting the edited version.
ReplyDelete