Wednesday, 13 April 2011

draining

such a waste-
concrete emotions
ended, as
evident
from the past, as a result of
tragic illusion

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Shadorma:
line one has three syllable
line two has five syllables
line three has three syllables
line four has three syllables
line five has seven syllables
line six has five syllables

20 comments:

  1. Sheilagh lee said wonderfully inventive love the line tragic illuion.

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  2. I guess the result of tragic illusion is nothing to the wrath of a woman scorned...

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  3. One realises that illusion is tragic only after reality expresses itself..and often years pass through..

    Thanks Gautami for visiting my page.. it is emboldening,,

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  4. I love how you can put so much into so few words. It's wonderful.

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  5. Ah, illusion is often tragic, isn't it?

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  6. This is a wonderful Shadorma poem. I've seen a few this week and tried my own today too.
    Very very well written.

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  7. Sad, so sad! I've never seen this form before but I like it!

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  8. i can relate !!!
    I love this poem

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  9. You got the three little words in nicely!

    <3

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  10. Lovely lines dear... sad but so intense! Thanks for visiting my space.

    Hey, do come by blog today (Thursday)… I’m having a meet up party that’s intended to boost us bloggers’ networking. I hope to see you there…

    It’s @ http://the-perfect-line.blogspot.com/2011/04/gear-up-people-its-friends-meetup-party.html

    Consider this a formal invitation :)

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  11. Sad unrequited love is always a poignant read. This is a really beautiful piece.

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  12. Well done...I will agree with others by saying I, too, liked how you used the three words...and in such a compact piece. Yay for you!!! :)

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  13. Very well written pieces.

    thanks for stopping by my blog as well.

    Lisa
    InspiredbyLisa

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  14. Ah, I get now what a a shadorma poem is, the amounts of syllables. It has a really natural flow.

    I once had concrete emotions, a passing thing in my early 20s, everthing felt "flattened" for a while, if you get what I mean. But by mid-20s all was smooth sailing, and has remained so -- must've been finding true love at last.

    xoxo

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  15. Nice poem. Bear up and try again, it might come better next time.

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  16. Interesting form - shadorma;

    'Tragic illusion' - liked that one - hv to agree with the others earlier

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  17. There are so many ways for a soul to be drained..Jae

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  18. this is creative.

    love the last part.

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