Saturday, 19 March 2011

stretched drums

the sound of drums
reverberated up basement stairs
and escaped from the French windows
so loud, but no refrain could be heard
an erratic beat,
it seemed in the neighborhood
that man on the streets curled his lips
and tapped on the door,
when the curtain parted,
he looked inside with incredulous looks
lips curling into a deep curve

but the boy inside rattled his cymbals
beat our brains inside our skulls,
wearing down our stretched skins
with his hammering sticks

"if he wished for our staccato applause,
he would be waiting forever"

26 comments:

  1. I can hear the beats.. good one..

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  2. Very good...annoying sounds cannot be erased no matter how hard we try !

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  3. Too bad the boy never learned that silence was golden.

    Here's to hoping that all that practice improves his technique!

    Good job!

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  4. I really liked this... I honestly could FEEL those drum, that beat.

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  5. Excellent work on this piece!

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  6. This was great. You produced sounds with words. I'm really impressed. I especially like the last lines.
    xoRobyn

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  7. I can hear the drum beats. Just wonderful.

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  8. A young wannabe musician! Great! As amateur violinist, I know it has to sound very bad a long time before it starts sounding good!
    Lovely poem!
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's SC week 46 'curtain parted'

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  9. This made me chuckle! Good job evoking the sarcasm!

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  10. Very evocative, I can feel that drumbeat as I read this. I'm so glad our daughter didn't choose percussion as her instrument! Kat

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  11. Especially loved these lines with the brains beaten inside skulls, the stretched skins, and hammering sticks.

    "but the boy inside rattled his cymbals
    beat our brains inside our skulls,
    wearing down our stretched skins
    with his hammering sticks"

    Well done!

    =)

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  12. Very nice! A really unique and creative use of this week's prompt!

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  13. Wow, Gautami, I could hear the beats. I didn't see the curtain part though. Not that it really matters....

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  14. I could hear the drums and feel the reverberations. This is very real, concrete, and strong.

    Namaste..........cj

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  15. I was feeling drum beats and heat ... really well done!

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  16. This was definitely an audible poem. Well done

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  17. cleverly said.. here's mine.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/paper-scribbles/

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  18. Having been an apartment dweller, the experience you depict was all too real!
    It stretched my skin and my patience too.
    Inventive take on the prompt!

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  19. "beating our brains within our heads" ...

    Ah, yes, think I should pass this to my neighbor!

    Nicely done. Happy Potluck ...

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  20. beautifuol job.

    keep it up.

    Welcome joining poets rally week 40,
    all submissions will be fully represented by the end of the week,
    visit me for details today.. hope to see you in..

    Cheers.
    Happy Writing..
    xx

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  21. This was absolutely superb as a read aloud!

    Wow. I loved how you created a staccato beat with vowels and syllables.

    Really impressive.

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